Is "The Watch" a rip-off?

I was just thinking about seeing Ben Stiller's new comedy The Watch (originally titled Neighborhood Watch), a ruanchy comedy involving an alien invasion on a small neighborood, where there local neighborhood watch steps in to protect the suburban citizens. But then I realized, it's sort of a rip-off of a much better British film from last year. Attack the Block focused on inner-city punks defending their aprtment complex and surrounding neighborhood from nasty alien creatures who crash-landed on Earth. Its full of good characters, clever writing, funny jokes, extreme violence and gore, and good special effects. I realized that this new American film is somewhat of a rip-off. They replace the subtle, witty British humor with the usual, over-the-top sex and gross-out humor, and replace unknown actors with popular comedians. (Jonah Hill, Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn)  But they keep the aliens (who aren't nearly as celverly designed as in the other film), the gore, and the over-all tone of the film: a funny, big, gory blockbuster comedy. Unfortunately, I don't think the hyped-up The Watch will live up to the standards of the lesser-known, but far superior Attack the Block.

Comic Book: The Movie

Today, I'm reviewing a rare gem. it's a direct-to-video mockumentary starring voice actors about comics and comic book movies and their fans. But, I believe it should have been released theatrically, despite it's small budget, because of the quality of the writing and characters themselves.

Comic Book: The Movie:
The plot follows Don Swan, a school teacher and nice guy, who owns a comic shop and large comic collection. His favorite hero, Commander Courage (a combination of Batman, Superman, and Captain America), is his childhood idol. He was a Native American hero who was given magical powers by a shaman, who became a wholesome, clean-cut superhero. Don, who is the official expert of Courage, is called by a big movie company to be a technical consultant on the movie and to make a documentary for the DVD special features about Comic-Con, the origin of Commander Courage, and the making of the film. Unfortunately, this adaptation is to be based on Codename: Courage, the "gritty" reboot of Courage. Now he's a cold, brutal mercenary who isn't a hero, but more of a vigilante killer. His Robin-like sidekick, Liberty Lad, is now the sexy, Black Widow-like character Liberty Lass. Don respects the creators of this version, but hates the re-design. While he makes the documentary he attempts to sabotage the production, from false advertising, to convincing Bruce Campbell (the actor being hired to play Courage) to demand re-writes, to finding the only living descendant of Jack Whitney (Courage's creator) to help him out. Antics ensue, and everything in the promotion campaign goes to hell. The director and star Mark Hamill (who played Luke Skywalker in Star Wars and voiced The Joker in Batman: TAS and the Batman: Arkham games) plays Don. The rest of the cast inludes voice actors like Billy West, Arleen Sorkin (voice of Harley Quinn), Jim Cummings (a very famous voice actor), Tara Strong (a famous voice actress who voiced Harley in Arkham City), Gary Owens, Tom Kenny (voice of Spongebob, and Skids and Wheelie of Transformers 2), etc. There are also numerous cameos, including: Bruce Campbell, Kevin Smith, Hugh Hefner, Stan Lee, Paul Dini (comic book writer, TAS writer, creator of Harley Quinn), Bruce Timm (comic book and TAS writer), Lloyd Kaufman (president of Troma Films, a B-movie company), Peter David (a comics writer), David Prowse (who played Darth Vader, James Earl Jones voiced the character, and who played The Monster in the British horror film Frankenstein and the Monster From Hell), Peter Mayhew (who played Chewbacca), Jeremy Bulloch (who played the original Boba Fett), Edd Hall (a voice actor and actor), Greg Nicotero (special effects artist, whose works include Frank Herbert's Dune, The Walking Dead Spiderman 3, Chronicles of Narnia, From Dusk Till Dawn, Transformers, and Grindhouse), and Matt Greoning (cartoonist and creator of Life in Hell, The Simpsons, and Futurama) There is little-to-no music. The humour is subtle, and mostly is referring to comic book history, making fun of the abismal 50's comics, the McCarthy-era comic book investigation, the terrible 60's cartoon shows, the 70's grittiness, the dark 80's reboots of comics, and the modern day movie adaptations. In the style of This Is Spinal Tap, the end credits let you know the film was fictitous, and that it had producers, writers, and that the film's "real people" were just actors. If you're a comic book fan, go on Netflix or Amazon.com, and buy or watch Comic Book: The Movie!! 3.5/5 stars.

News on the Batman Shooting

The killer, James Holmes, was described as a normal American kid, who grew up in the Suburbs of San Diego. He had little friends, and was very quiet. He was in sports, but many team mates remember little of him. He was the top of his class in a science program in college. He graduated from high school as an honor student. He showed no signs of violence or distress. Funny enough, he once painted his hair red, and referred to himself as the Joker. He booby-trapped his apartment like a Jigsaw trap, with traps designed to maim and kill intruders.  He also reportedly told his psychiatrist about his issues, and he does not consider himself insane. He reportedly blasted loud music, so cops and neighbors would want to go into his apartment to investigate why he was blasting music, and get maimed by traps. I feel bad for his family. My question: What is going through his head? Why did he do it? What are his problems?: not enough parental attention, too much attention? No psychiatric help? No guidance in life? Bullying? etc. I almost feel bad for him, but it's more pity. Such a brilliant young mind wasted because of psychotic problems that were never tended to. What happened with him? We may never know.

Info. from: MSN News videos and articles, CNN, ABC News.

I can't believe what happened in Colorado, and on Letterman.

I can't believe how many people's movie experience have been ruined lately. First, on Letterman, he was interviewing Anne Hathaway about Catwoman in The Dark Knight Rises, and says "I can't believe (insert spoiler here) happened at the end of the movie!" I now hate David Letterman (not really). Dave, if you're reading this, I think you're hilarious, but that was a douchebag/asshole move to pull, even for the sake of comedy. Then, at a midnight showing in Colorado, a maniac shot down 12 people, and injured dozens. What a psycho asshole! Those people waited a long time to see this bad-ass movie, and they don't even get to see the end of the movie, or see their families, friends, and acquaintances ever again. I can't believe what's happened to those people in that theater, they just went to see a movie, and now they're dead because of some schizophrenic maniac who was sitting across from them. What's this world coming to?

RIP Aurora victims, may you go to a better place.

The Batman movies Part IV: The Nolan Trilogy

These were, in my opinion, the first really coherent series in the history of Batman movies. The Burton films weren't really direct sequels and the Schumacher films barely connected to those movies, but these films directly connect with each other, meaning you must see them in order to get them. Well, let's get to the films themselves, what most people call "The definitive Batman series" and the "true Batman movies". (Possible spoilers ahead.)

Batman Begins:
I used to hate this as a kid, thinking it was boring and slow, but now, it's fast-paced and exhilirating. The plot follows Bruce Wayne, a young, depressed billionaire, whose parents were gunned down in front of him as a child by mugger Joe Chill. He has been trying to get peace ever since, and has travelled the world, getting caught for smuggling his own products into Asia. He is rescued from a prison by a mysterious man, Henri Ducard, speaking on behalf of Ra's Al Ghul, leader of the League of Shadows. He is trained by the league to overcome fear and to become a protector of the innocent. He destroys their base when he finds out they intend to kill the criminals, which Bruce feels is immoral. Back in Gotham after 7 years, Bruce, with the help of his butler Alfred, uses the symbol of the bat to become Batman, a vigilante hero who protects Gotham from the corrupt. Meanwhile, a outside mastermind orchestrates drug operations involving the Falcone crime family and psychiatrist Jonathan Crane, who moonlights as the fear-inducing Scarecrow. The plot is similar to both Frank Miller's Batman: Year One (where Bruce trains to become Batman and take down the mob, and Jim Gordon tries to take down the corrupt police force from the inside) and The Man Who Falls (where Batman's origin is revealed, including his fear of bats sprouting when, as a child, he fell into a bat cave on the grounds of the mansion, his travels around the world, and meeting a mentor in the form of Ducard). It also took some inspiration from the acclaimed graphic novel The Long Halloween. The cast is incredible. Christian Bale may not be as good as Michael Keaton, but he captures the coolness of Bruce Wayne, and the brooding and angered Batman's personality.  That's something Keaton couldn't do, his Batman was amazing, but his Bruce Wayne was too secluded and suspious, Bruce is supposed to be lively, upbeat, that's what drives everyone's attention away from the fact he's Batman. Bale captures that. He doesn't do that god-awful growling lung cancer voice either, that's a plus (he saved that for the sequel). Bale does 3 personalities: Bruce Wayne as a secretive and wise warrior, Batman as a brooding and brutal enforcer/detective, and the fake Bruce: a partying bachelor douchebag. Katie Holmes is okay as Rachel Dawes, an original character who is Bruce's love interest and oldest friend. She looks like a college kid, but she does a good job capturing that strong, modern woman character. Michael Caine is great as the caring Alfred, who also has a good talking-to with Bruce sometimes, showing that he's not afraid to stand up to Bruce or question his methods as Batman. Gary Oldman is great as Sergeant Jim Gordon, he is a middle-aged cop, one of the few good ones in the city. He is making his way up to the commissioner from the comics, and he has a family to keep safe in this dangerous city. Morgan Freeman plays Lucius Fox, the intelligent, funny, and kind Added Sciences head at Wayne Enterprises. He assissts Bruce in getting odd devices for Bruce's night-time escapades. Cillian Murphy is perfect as Scarecrow. He is creepy, intelligent, and calculating. He is always at odds with Rachel, sort of like her nemesis. He developed a weaponized gas from a compound found in flowers near the base of the League of Shadows. Liam Neeson is great as Ra's Al Ghul, and he is the best nemesis for Batman at this stage in his crime-fighting career, being an interesting moral and physical challenge. Ra's also trained Batman, but is still better than him at fighting. Ken Watanabe (later appeared in Nolan's Inception) is in a smaller role as Ra's decoy. Tom Wilkinson plays Carmine Falcone, the head of the Falcone crime family, and leader of the corrupt, and accomplice of Scarecrow. Scarecrow drives Falcone insane when Falcone tries to threaten him and his shadowy master. Rutger Hauer plays William Earle, the somewhat villainous head of the Wayne company. Mark Boone Junior plays Arnold Flass, Gordon's corrupt partner. Not as physically fit as he is in the comics, but still bad news. Colin McFarlane plays Gillian Loeb, commissioner of police. Not corrupt as he is in the comics, but a good commissioner, a decent man. Larry Holden plays Rachel's boss, DA Carl Finch, who is killed for looking too deeply into Falcone's business. Linus Roache and Sara Stewart play Bruce's caring and loving parents Thomas and Martha Wayne, killed by seedy mugger Joe Chill. Chill is played by Richard Brake. Corrupt Judge Faden is played by Gerard Murphy. Tim Booth (lead singer for the British band "James", who are known for their college radio hit "Laid") plays Victor Zsasz, reducing from his major role as a deranged, anti-society psycho-killer in the comics to a borderline cameo role as a murderer who works for the Falcones. Irish actor Jack Gleeson (who now stars on HBO's Game of Thrones) appears here in a minor role as a little boy in the slums of Gotham. The action in the film is little, but good. The final fight on the subway train in the Narrows is thrilling, and the fight with Scarecrow and the police chase in the Tumbler is awesome. The fight scenes are edited badly, but are cool anyway. The special effects are well-done, but the Tumbler is a bit excessive. The special effects for the fear sequences are good, and used sparingly. The music in the film isn't as iconic as in the Burton films, but is still awesome and gets you pumped for the action that follows. Batman Begins is one of the best Batman films out there, and underrated. 5/5 stars.

Notes: (SPOILERS) At the end of the film, the Batsignal is revealed, and a stinger ending takes place: where Gordon hands Batman a Joker playing card, saying a criminal is spreading chaos throughout the city. Batman responds with "I'll look into it." (End of SPOILERS) The opening "Bat symbol" shot is of a swarm of bats crowding around, briefly making the Bat emblem in the sky.

The Dark Knight:
This movie, until now in my opinion, was the definitive Batman film. The plot follows Batman, now Gotham's unofficial hero, in his crusade against crime. Batman has, with the help of Lieutenant Gordon, destroyed most major crime in the city. The remaining criminals, like Sal Maroni, The Chechen, and Gambol, entrust their money to Chinese launderer Lao, who is in business with the Wayne company. Meanwhile, DA Harvey Dent and Rachel Dawes begin a romance, and start taking down these mob bosses in court. Batman plans to quit his life, believing Dent to be Gotham's new hero. Unfortunately for both our heroes and mob bosses, a new, anarchy-loving, scarred villain strolls into town. The Joker spreads anarchy and chaos, trying to push Batman over the line of hero or vigilante, and proving that they have more in common than Batman would hope. The Joker also tries to prove even the best people, deep down inside, are nothing more than violent maniacs like him, and he uses Dent as his test subject, and Batman decides that maybe Gotham still needs him around, whether they like it or not. The cast is perfect. Christian Bale is, again, excellent as Batman, who must deal with the fact that Rachel may not love him anymore, and that Batman may need to move on. Aaron Eckhardt (Thank You For Smoking) is excellent as Harvey Dent. He embodies Gotham's "true hero": an elected official, who obeys the law, and puts criminals behind bars. He also is like the "real american hero", and becomes a new ally of Batman. But the Joker has other plans. Speaking of which, Heath Ledger is the definitive Joker. He's funny, intelligent, but also bat-shit crazy. Where Jack Nicholson was creepy, Ledger is pure nightmare fuel. He has a scarred face and a creepy smile. Ledger gained inspiration for the role from Alan Moore's comic The Killing Joke, the film Sid and Nacy, and A Clockwork Orange. To show how he doesn't really care about himself or his appearance, Nolan designed Joker with incredibly greasy and stringy hair, a rotten yellow grin, and makeup that slowly deteriorates. The more the Joker's state degrades, the more we see the insane and twisted mind beneath. This is what many believe killed Ledger. Ledger, being a method actor, wanted to really get into the Joker role. He kept a journal of the Joker's strange and freakish thoughts. He ultimately overdosed on pills to keep him from going insane. He died for the art. I always feel bad for him and his loved ones, but if he didn't immerse himself as far as he did, would this film and performance be nearly as good? I guess we'll never know. Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, and Gary Oldman are all still fantastic as Alfred, Lucius Fox, and Gordon, respectively. Maggie Gyllenhall replaces Holmes as Rachel Dawes, who must deal with her torn feelings about Dent and Bruce Wayne. Colin McFarlane plays Loeb, who is still a good commissioner, but is killed by Joker. Eric Roberts plays Salvatore "Sal" Maroni, leader of the Italian mob, who hires the Joker to kill Batman. Bob Hoskins auditioned for this role. Chin Han plays Lao, the money launderer who is taken by Batman, and who betrays the mob, at a price. Nestor Carbonell plays Mayor Anthony Garcia, who is like Mayor Kroll of the comics: he isn't a fan of Batman, but doesn't try to stop him. Keith Szarabajki is Gerard Stephens, who is similar to Harvey Bullock of the comics. He is a gruff cop, with a good heart, who is loyal to Gordon. Monique Gabriela Curnen plays Ana Ramirez, sort of like Renee Montoya from the comics. She is loyal to Gordon, until the mob and Joker convince her otherwise. Ron Dean plays Michael Wurts, a gruff officer who betrays Gordon to the mob. Anthony Michael Hall (The Breakfast Club) plays Mike Engel of Gotham Tonight, sort of like a less-annoying, male version of Vicki Vale. Nydia Rodriguez Terracina plays Judge Surrillo, who is killed by the Joker for trying the mob in court. Cillian Murphy returns in a cameo as the Scarecrow, who deals drugs with the Chechen, a cameo that was originally supposed to be Philip Seymour Hoffman as Penguin. Joshua Harto plays Coleman Reece, an accountant for Wayne who attempts to blackmail him. Melinda McGraw and Nathan Gamble plays Gordon's wife and son, Barbara and Jimmy. Michael Jai White (who played Spawn in, well, Spawn, and the title character in the parody film Black Dynamite) plays Gambol, a black gang boss who is killed by the Joker. Ritchie Coster plays The Chechen, a drug-dealing Russian mob boss who fancies viscous dogs as his enforcers. Tom "Tiny" Lister, a wrestler, makes a cameo as a prison inmate on a ferry in the film's climax. William Fichtner makes a cameo as a bank teller at a mob-owned bank in the film's action-packed prologue. This brings me to the action. The action exceeds the first film, and is just damn incredible. From the bank robbery at the opening, to the fight with the Scarecrow in the parking garage, to the fight with Joker at the Dent campaign party, to the fight in Hong Kong, to the car chase with the flipping of a semi-truck, to the hosptial explosion and Lamborgini chase, to the final fight at the Prewitt building. The new vehicle of the film is the Batpod, a motorcycle that is an add-on feature of the Tumbler, destroyed in this film. The music score is great. The Joker's theme is insane. Compiled from bits and pieces of chaotic sounds and a violin playing, the Joker's theme is a low humming noise that gets louder and more urgent, foreshadowing the chaos and bloodshed to come in that scene. The Dark Knight is an amazing film, a feat in the comic book movie medium, and the best film of 2008, besides Iron Man. 5/5 stars.

Note: Fun fact, Ledger based part of his performance on Sid Viscous from the film Sid and Nancy, which Gary Oldman starred in, and Oldman plays Gordon in this film. The opening "Bat symbol" shot is a blue inferno spreading apart, briefly making the Bat emblem.

The Dark Knight Rises:
This is the definitive Batman film now! The plot follows the middle-aged and eccentric Bruce Wayne, hiding in his mansion 8 years after the Joker's reign of terror, having to put on the cape and cowl once more when Bane, a super-strong and intelligent terrorist, takes over Gotham and transforms in into a hell hole. Batman is captured by Bane and thrown in "the Pit" (a reference to the Lazarus Pit), a prison in the Middle East, which only one person has escaped: Bane himself. Now Batman must heal, and face the man who has taken his city and torn it apart. With the help of Detective Blake and the seductive and complex Selina Kyle, he plans to take down Bane and his army of thugs and psychopaths. This plot is similar to the two major storylines of the 90's: Knightfall (in which Bane breaks Batman's back and releases hundreds of psychos on the streets) and No Man's Land (where, after a massive earthquake, Gotham is shut off from the rest of the world and ruled by gangs and criminals.) It also has many similarities with Frank Miller's acclaimed 1986 graphic novel The Dark Knight Returns, where a middle-aged Batman must return to a much darker Gotham City after being in retirement for a decade. The cast is fantastic. Christian Bale portrays a much more depressed, secluded, and dark Bruce Wayne. This is truly a broken man, who must rise up when his city needs him most. He plays 3 new characters: the broken Bruce Wayne, the cold and calculating Batman (who is mostly mute when in the costume for the first time in 8 years), and the fake Bruce, the middle-aged bachelor. Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman are great as always as Alfred and Lucius, who must deal with Bruce's depression and obsession with the "glory days". Gary Oldman plays a much older and depressed Commissioner Gordon, whose wife left him after the events of the previous film. He attempts to hold Gotham together in this time of overwhelming crisis. Marion Cotillard (Leo DiCaprio's wife in Inception) plays Miranda Tate, a lovely, wealthy woman who wants to help Bruce recover and help his company rise up from near bankruptcy. Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays Detective Blake, a good cop and one who knows Bruce is Batman, and the only one who believes in Bruce. He is a bad-ass, Robin-like sidekick character, and is similar to Lieutenant Kitch of the comics. Tom Hardy is a very serious threat as Bane. In the first film, Ra's Al Ghul presented Batman with a moral challenge, in the second, Joker presented Batman and Dent with a mental challenge, Bane presents as physcial challenge. But don't think he's all brawn, he is true to the comics, being extremely intelligent and the mastermind of the Gotham takeover. Bane is a brutal and unforgiving mastermind, killing henchmen and accomplices when they even slightly upset him. They also re-dubbed most of his dialogue so you can understand him. Not as good as the Joker, but he's a cold, calculating, and brutal killer, calm even in the worst circumstances. Anne Hathaway is a surpisingly good Catwoman, being smart, funny, and bad-ass. She is a thief, but does it to help her, and her friend Holly Robinson, played by Juno Temple, stay out of the streets. She falls in love with Bruce, and Bruce recruits her in his fight against Bane. Cillian Murphy appears in another cameo, as Crane is the judge in Bane's criminal-operated court. Liam Neeson reprises his role as Ra's Al Ghul in a dream sequence, and Josh Pence plays a younger version of him in a flashback. Matthew Modine (Full Metal Jacket, Pacific Heights) plays Deputy Commissioner Peter Foley. Fun fact: Modine's character in Full Metal Jacket is nicknamed "Joker". Alon Abutbul plays Dr. Pivel, an Indian scientist who develops a weapon for Bane while held captive. Nestor Carbonell returns as Mayor Garcia, much older now. Ben Menddelsohn plays John Daggett, Bane's accomplice and Wayne's rival. Burn Gorman (of British sci-fi comedy show Torchwood, a spin-off of Doctor Who) plays Philip Stryver, Daggett's treacherous assistant. Tom Conti plays an older prisoner who helps Bruce escape the Pit. The action in the film isn't as frequent as in Dark Knight, but it's good. Dexter star Desmond Harrington appears as a cop, and Reno 911 and Memento actor Thomas Lennon appears as a doctor. Members of the Pittsburgh Steelers appear as the Gotham football team. Batman's new vehicle "The Bat", similar to the Batwing, has some good flight scenes. The opening plane raid, the fight in the sewers, the chase at the bank, and the final fight in the city streets are fantastic. Also, Wayne Manor has been rebuilt since it's destruction about 10 years before this film, and we get to see the high-tech Batcave we've been waiting for. The music is good, with Bane's theme being threatening and awesome, with the chants of "This is Gotham!" accompanied with loud thumps and music. The Dark Knight Rises also has a lot more similarities and storyline connections to Batman Begins rather than The Dark Knight. Overall, this Batman film tops all in my opinion, even the previous film, and it's the best of this trilogy. 5/5 stars.

Notes: The "Bat-symbol" shot is of cracking ice, that briefly cracks in the shape of the Bat symbol.

Rush Limbaugh is an idiot by the way, thinking Bane is a stab at Mitt Romney, who worked at a company called "BAIN Capital", doesn't he know Bane was around in comics before Romney was even a big politcian? (SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!! DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS!!!!)




(SPOILERS!!!) The ending is that Batman is believed to be dead, but isn't, and is seeing the world with Catwoman, and that the Wayne Manor grounds are turned into a boys' orphanage. Also, Blake's first name is revealed to be "Robin" (I thought he was similar to Robin half-way through the film) and he discovers the Batcave. Seeing this ending got me and my brother giddy as school girls. Also, despite Nolan and Cotillard's claims that Tate is not Talia Al Ghul, she is. A difference between film and comics is that in the comics and games, Talia loved Bruce, in this movie, she hates his guts. That's all. (SPOILERS!)

The Batman Movies Part III: The Schumacher films

After Batman Returns, Warner Bros. was looking for a more family-friendly Batman films. They heard that Burton was making a second sequel, with Robin Williams or someone else as The Riddler, and possibly Two-Face or Scarecrow as a second villain. But when they heard the film would maintain the dark tone of the previous film, Burton and Keaton were booted off the project. Joel Schumacher, director of great movies like St. Elmo's Fire and The Lost Boys, was next up for director. He and a writing crew came up with this next movie, which Tim Burton served as a co-producer on.

Batman Forever:
This film is definitely not my favorite Batman film, or the worst. It's somewhere in between. It's somewhat like the simplistic, clean, and silly comics of the 40's and early 50's. The plot follows Batman trying to stop a former employee Edward Nygma, now the Riddler, from controlling Gotham citizen's minds through TV waves, and to stop his new nemesis, Two-Face, a former friend, who has teamed up with the Riddler to become more powerful. He also deals with the trauma of his parents death, a new love interest, and choosing between his lover or his duty to protect the city. He also must deal with orphan Dick Grayson, who wants to become his ward and assistant. This movie has very little to do with the Burton films, with only a passing mention of Catwoman, so I don't really consider it a sequel, it's like a separate film series. The cast is okay. Val Kilmer is a good actor, but he's droll and boring as the stoic Bruce Wayne and the bland Batman. Nicole Kidman is good as complicated psychologist and lover Chase Meridian. Chris O'Donnell is okay as Dick Grayson, who becomes Robin at the end of the film. He's pretty cool, but, Jesus, he looks about 25. Does he really need an adult guardian? Jim Carrey is good as The Riddler, and the studio obviously chose him because WB owns New Line Cinema, and he made their films Dumb and Dumber, The Mask, and Ace Ventura giant hits. He is just one of those actors who doesn't play a character, he's just goofing off, being himself. He's not the Riddler, he's just Jim Carrey dressed as the Riddler. He's funny, but just not my first choice. I'd want  someone who fits the role, and a Riddler more similar to the cartoon, an intelligent killer with very challenging riddles and quick wit. Tommy Lee Jones, what the hell was he thinking? He's a respected actor, and he hams up his Two-Face way too much. He over-acts more than the 60's show, and they really push the "split personality" thing with his hideout and costume being literally cut in half, and being zany and exaggerated, with half of them being normal, and the other half being purple, spiked, and striped. Pat Hingle and Michael Gough are just background characters now, and are the only returning cast members from the Burton films. Drew Barrymore and Debbie Mazar plays Two-Face's girlfriends Sugar and Spice, two very different sisters, one is a sweet but still technically evil woman in white clothing, the other is a dominatrix who loves being bad. They are really not significant to the plot whatsoever. The action in the film is little, and over-exaggerated. It's fun, but after you watch it you realize how stupid it was, like the Batmobile driving up the wall. Speaking of the Batmobile, what the hell? The Burton design was sleek and stylish, being menacing and cool, this looks like a fucking cartoon character's car. The costumes are odd, like Two-Face's half-n-half suit, the Riddler's flashy pajamas, and Batman's nipples on his suit. Robin's costume is actually pretty cool, and seems more cool and stylish than the one in the comics and cartoon, gone is the yellow cape and the bright red and green tights, now the cape is black and the suit a very faded reddish-green. The special effects and sets are off-the-wall and too over-the-top. The sets and city are bright, colorful, and strange, gone is the dark and eerie atmosphere, replaced by bright eye candy. The music is pretty good, not the iconic music from the original, more of a bland heroic tune, but still pretty good. Overall, if you are looking for a Batman movie that's still appropriate for younger kids, see Batman Forever. 3/5 stars.

Batman and Robin:
This is just a terrible movie, one of the worst films ever made. The plot follows Batman dealing with Mr. Freeze, the new villain in town who just wants to revive his cryogenically frozen wife, and freeze everyone, Robin's whiny and bitchy attitude, the plant-obsessed seductress Poison Ivy, the return of Alfred's niece Barbara (who was Gordon's daughter in the comics), and Alfred dying. This presents one of the problems: too many pointless sub-plots that only serve to pad the run-time. The cast is pretty bad. George Clooney is a great actor, so why he chose the role of the bland, wise-cracking, family-friendly Batman puzzles me. He is ashamed of this film. Chris O'Donnell went from cool teen sidekick to a dumb, whiny, bitchy man child. This movie soiled his career. Alicia Silverstone has the personality of a brick, and is bland and boring as Barbara Pennyworth, who becomes Batgirl at the climax. Arnold Schwarzenegger is a terrible Mr. Freeze, nowhere near as good as the empathetic villain from the cartoon and comics. He has way too many ice puns (Freeze in hell, cool party, you're not sending me to the cooler, let's kick some ice, hell freezes over, what killed the dinosaurs?: the ice age, etc.) This movie killed his already dying career. Uma Thurman is bland and terrible as Poison Ivy, from Pulp Fiction to this, what a sad transition. She is just heinous, and this nearly destroyed her career. Pat Hingle and Michael Gough are, again, pointless. Some random stuntman named Rob Swenson plays Bane, reduced from a super-intelligent and super-strong mastermind to a mindless big drone for Ivy to use as a henchman. Elle Macpherson plays Julie Madison, Batman's first girlfriend form the comics. She's just as bland and stupid here as she was there. John Glover plays mad scientist Jason Woodrue, who tries to kill Ivy. Schumacher actually only learned about the Bane character through his 7-year-old godson, showing how much he knew about the character. The sets and costumes are insanely weird, with bat-asses and nipples on the dynamic duo's costumes, bright flashy vehicles and buildings, and over-the-top special effects. The action is too silly and goofy to be considered thrilling. This film is more reminiscent of the 60's show than any comic book. Schumacher later apologized for this film. They almost did a sequel, Batman Triumphant, with Howard Stern as the Scarecrow and possibly Madonna as the Joker's daughter, Harley Quinn (his girlfriend in the cartoon and comics), but this film got so much negative feedback, that it was canned. All other scripts until the Nolan films were almost accepted, but were canned. The series was out of fresh or new ideas, and it was time to put Batman to rest, like the Superman films, but where the Nolan films resurrected Batman, the other Superman film killed it so it had to be rebooted again. So this film was so bad, it nearly killed the Batman franchise. I don't blame Schumacher, every series runs out of fresh stuff eventually, especially when trying to be family-friendly and not dark at all. Unless you're a masochist or are really curious, or like laughing at bad movies, don't watch Batman and Robin, it's not worth it. 1/5 stars.

Next, we see the Nolan films, and the most anticipated movie of the year: The Dark Knight Rises.

 (Images: Google)

Batman Movies part II: The Burton films

In the 1970's and 80's, no one took the idea of a serious Batman movie, well, seriously. After the self-parodying Adam West show, everyone thought Batman was a campy, family-friendly, poorly-written superhero comic. That was exactly the opposite. In the late 60's, DC got a new editor: Julius Schwartz. Julius was responsible for the re-designs on Green Lantern and Flash, and bringing back the dark, brooding Batman of the early comics. Schwartz hired Denny O'Neill and Neil Adams to do some Batman stories, and they created the modern Batman. The stories in these new comics were dark, realistic, and more current, and knew that the audience for comics was growing, no longer just kids' play, and that teenage readers needed more intelligent comics to read. One of these stories actually deals with Batman taking down a neo-Nazi war criminal who is murdering the Jewish people of Gotham City. This led to some darker Batman material in the 80's, including Frank Miller's masterful graphic novel The Dark Knight Returns, about Batman returning to Gotham after a ten-year absence, and Alan Moore (writer of Watchmen, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and V for Vendetta) and Brian Bolland's dark novella The Killing Joke, where The Joker's origin is revealed, which coincides with a plot that follows him trying to drive Commissioner Gordon insane (including crippling his daughter, Batgirl). These are the two graphic novels that inspired Tim Burton to make his Batman film. After fighting long and hard for their dark Batman film, Burton, producer and comics expert Michael E. Uslan, writer Sam Hamm, and producer Peter Guber saw their vision come to fruition in 1989.

Batman:
One of the most highly anticipated films ever, and one of the most successful, Burton's Batman is a masterpiece. The plot follows criminal and psychotic gangster Jack Napier's scheme to overthrow his boss, Carl Grissom. When Grissom finds out, he has Jack killed in the Axis chemical factory, dumped in a vat of acidic waste. He actually is transformed into the even more psychotic criminal and super villain The Joker, who tries to poison Gotham and kill the mob bosses who betrayed him. Meanwhile, the eccentric but popular billionaire Bruce Wayne is last on the cops' list of suspects that could be the violent vigilante Batman, who punishes Gotham's criminals by night. Batman has been attacking the Gotham mobs for quite some time now, but must stop the Joker, the bigger threat and finds he has some mysterious connection to The Joker. A sub-plot is that Bruce and Joker also fight for the affections of beautiful reporter Vicki Vale. The cast is perfect. Jack Nicholson got top billing as the archvillain Joker, and is perfectly cast. Every movie he's in, he plays some sort of crazy motherfucker, and this is no exception. This was the craziest he had gotten since Kubrick's The Shining. He has that creepy, deranged look to him already, now he's a creepy clown with a permanent grin. Michael Keaton is the one of the best, if not the best live-action Batman ever. He's so naturally cool, mysterious, and threatening. He's also the only Batman that can smile, and still be bad-ass and scary. It just says : "That's right, your ass is mine." (You don't see Christian Bale doing that in the new Batman movies.) He was actually one of the controversies during the release. Everyone was focused on the fact that he was a comedian and was in the family comedy Mr. Mom. But after Burton had him in Beetlejuice, the studio saw how diverse he could get, and signed him on. Kim Basinger is good as Vicki Vale, she's smart, sweet, but can still do shit on her own, and isn't a pushover, but she still does need saving sometimes, but her constant screaming is extremely annoying. Pat Hingle is a decent Commissioner Gordon, but when in the comics did he get so large? Jesus, I mean, just do a comic-to-film comparison, it's very noticeable. One problem I have with these older Batman films is they don't go into any depth about Batman and Gordon's close relationship, which pisses me off because that's a big deal in the comics and almost every other media adaptation. Robert Wuhl is funny as Batman-obsessed reporter Alexander Knox. Michael Gough (a veteran of Hammer horror) plays Alfred, Bruce's loving, caring, and intelligent British butler and assistant, just like family to Bruce. William Hootkins plays the cynical and crooked cop Eckhardt. Jack Palance is great as the smart, smooth, and selfish crime boss Carl Grissom. Billy Dee Williams plays Harvey Dent, black in this version, and his character is sort of saved for a sequel that never happened. Tracey Walter plays the awesome and cool background character Bob the Goon, Joker's right-hand man. He does literally nothing, and he gets his own action figure. That demonstrates how cool Bob is. The action in the film is surprisingly little, but when it happens, it's bad-ass and comic book-like. The music in the film has that brooding, dark feel that Danny Elfman usually brings, and has a few notes that makes you feel like its pumping you up for action. The special effects are few and far between, but when they're used, like the Batwing, they're not that bad. They're that kind of nostalgia-inducing special effects, that remind how effects used to be done. This movie, altogether, is a big, bad-ass, and brooding comic book movie. The definitive Batman movie. 5/5 stars.

Batman Returns:
This film was the really controversial one. It had Happy Meal promotions even though it had gruesome violence and mature themes. But, passed all the hype that it's the "most disturbing and violent of the Batman films" let's really look at this movie, which I feel is underrated. The plot follows Oswald Cobblepot , a newborn rich kid, who is dumped by his parents in the sewers for being deformed and beastly. Raised by Penguins and circus folk, Penguin returns to Gotham 30 years later, now the leader of a psychotic circus gang, ready for revenge. Meanwhile, evil business tycoon Max Schrek (named after the main actor in the German horror film Nosferatu) kills his quirky secretary Selina Kyle after she finds out his plans to dump toxic sewage in the city bay. Somehow resurrected with nine lives, Selina becomes Catwoman, a violent and psychotic antihero/villain who has a love-hate relationship with Batman. Schrek tries to exploit the Penguin by having him run for mayor, and the city turn against Batman when he is framed for murder by the Penguin and Catwoman. But after Batman exposes the Penguin for the psychotic villain he is, the Penguin goes back to his revenge plans, and everything goes to hell. The cast is, again, great. Michael Keaton is even more dark and brooding than ever. Danny DeVito is empathetic, but also disturbing and disgusting as the deformed Penguin. Turned from gentleman gangster to deformed crime boss, the Penguin is an infanticidal, disgusting and nasty villain, but we still feel bad for him. You don't really hate him, but you don't really like him either. Speaking of love-hate relationships, Michelle Pheiffer is the perfect Catwoman. She's smart, sexy, but still very unstable and crazy, making her an interesting challenge for Batman. Pat Hingle and Michael Gough return as Gordon and Alfred, two lovable side characters. Christopher Walken is great as the psychotic and pure evil businessman Max Schrek. The action is more bad-ass and violent than in the first film, and the special effects and makeup are fantastic. The music is still dark, brooding, and Burton-esque. This theme was so good, that Elfman went on to compose a similar theme for the Batman:TAS show. Altogether, the entire movie is good, a bit too dark and mature for younger kids, but it's a great Batman movie, so, if you love dark movies, Tim Burton, action movies, comics, or Batman, check out Batman Returns! 4.5/5 stars.

Next: The Schumacher and Nolan films!

Abraham Lincoln hunted vampires?

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter:
Looks like I saw this film after all. I had some spare tie, and my dad said "hey, wanna see that Abraham Lincoln vampire movie?" I said "Sure."  The plot is simple, and ludicrous: Abe Lincoln's mother is killed by a vampire, and he is trained years later by an expert hunter to take vengeance and stop a deadly plot (involving the slave trade) to take over the country. The cast is pretty good: Benjamin Walker is great as the tormented but humorous, honest yet also secretive Abe Lincoln. Dominic Cooper is great as Lincoln's friend and mentor Henry Sturgess, a vampire himself, who wants to vanquish evil vampires from the Earth. Mary Elizabeth Winstead is good as love interest Mary Todd Lincoln. Anthony Mackie plays a born-free black man, William Johnson, a childhood friend of Lincoln's, who assists Lincoln in politics and hunting. Jimmi Simpson plays Joshua Speed, a store owner and employeer of a young Lincoln, who later becomes his political assistant. Rufus Sewell is Adam, a bland, but still threatening villain, the leader of a vampire clan set on the domination of America, and soon, the world. Stereotypical villain plan, but he's still a scary and bad-ass villain. Marton Csokas plays Jack Barts, a shipment company owner, a psychotic vampire, and former employer of Lincoln's parents, who killed Lincoln's mother after Lincoln's father defied him. Erin Wasson plays the creepy, yet lackluster vampiric assassin Vadoma, sister of Adam. The action and special effects are well-done. The makeup on Lincoln is great, and there's some good, but short action sequences and fights. The vampires are terrifying, with huge, sharp, Baraka-like teeth and talons, black eyes, black-green blood, and grey and blue flesh. The violence is somewhat bloody, but not too bad. The movie takes itself a little too seriously, but if you can get past some boring bits, it's a fun, bad-ass action-horror movie, and a fun popcorn movie. If you expect more, think to yourself "It's a movie about Abe Lincoln hunting vampires." If you want to see a bad-ass version of one of our best presidents hacking and shooting the shit out of some scary demonic bad-guys, go to a theater where it's playing and see Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. I can't wait to see the prequel, George Washington: Zombie Slayer, or the sequel: John F. Kennedy, Ghost Hunter. 3.5/5 stars.

Seth McFarlane and Oliver Stone movies

Ted:
A film about a teddy bear and his best friend masquerading itself as an original comedy turns out to be a rehash of Family Guy jokes. Not saying the movie isn't funny, it's just mostly gross-out humor and movie references. The 80's references are through the roof here. (Airplane, Top Gun, Indiana Jones, Flash Gordon, Pink Floyd: The Wall, Cheers, Aliens, etc.) The plot follows a young kid named John Bennett who is constantly teased and wishes for one friend. For Christmas he gets a teddy bear, which he names Ted, and wishes him to life. Ted is adored by the public, but after a few years nobody gives a shit that there's a talking stuffed animal, and Ted becomes a stoner and a slacker, who sort of drags John down. But when John gets into a relationship with a girl named Lori, he needs to choose between bromance or romance. Basically, it's very similar to a lot of buddy comedies and romantic comedies, but it's made funnier by an hilarious script, even if it's a bit scattered. Mark Wahlberg plays the main character, John, who just wants to be a good boyfriend and worker, which is hard with an irresponsible friend around. Mila Kunis plays Lori, John's smart and way out-of-his-league girlfriend, who is getting tired of Ted's antics. Seth McFarlane gives great voice work and a motion capture performance as Ted, the alcoholic, weed-smoking, foul-mouthed and out-of-control living teddy bear. He basically does the Peter Griffin voice for this role, which they joke about in the film. Joel McHale plays Lori's asshole boss, Rex, who constantly hits on Lori and has insanely expensive collectibles in his house. (Including Lance Armstrong's cryogenically frozen testicle.) Patrick Warburton (voice of Joe on Family Guy) plays Guy, John's gay coworker, and Ryan Reynolds makes a cameo as his lover, Jared. Tom Skerritt and Nora Jones make cameos as themselves. Sam J. Jones, star of Flash Gordon, plays a coked-up, crazy version of himself in a supporting role. Giovanni Ribisi plays Donny, a freaky, stalker character who kidnaps Ted for his chubby, psycho kid. Seriously, these characters should actually star in a horror movie. Jessica Barth plays Tammy-Lynn, Ted's white-trash cashier girlfriend. Patrick Stewart voices the Narrator. The jokes in the film are funny, but seem way too much like Family Guy humor, with jokes that don't really relate to the plot, and are more of just references to other movies and shows. This movie is funny while you watch it, but you may find it sort of like a long episode of one of McFarlane's shows rather than an actual movie. Seth, if you're reading this, this movie was a good one, but I recommend if you do another one, follow in the footsteps of Mike Judge. Judge, who created Beavis and Butthead, went on to direct Office Space, a cult hit which redefined comedy, imagine if that movie was just a long episode of Beavis and Butthead. (A good point made by Spill.com) Overall, it's a good movie, just try something new next time. 3.5/5 stars. Note: This being a Universal movie, there are a lot of Universal movie posters around and in backgrounds.

Savages:
I was really looking forward to this film. The plot follows two weed-growers, Chon (a war vet) and Ben (a Buddhist), who both are in love with Ophelia, "O" for short, a free-spirited girl who is shared by the men. They refuse to join with the Baja Cartel, led by "Elena Le Reina", and "O" is kidnapped, and they are forced to join. They decide they need to fight back, using their ties to a crooked DEA agent to go on a revenge spree. The cast is pretty good. "O" is  kindred spirit and a good soul, and Blake Lively fits that role. Taylor Kitsch and Aaron Johnson are good as Chon and Ben respectively but are the just sort of there, just sort of carboard cut-out anti-heroes. Salma Hayek is the somewhat empathetic drug lord Elena Sanchez. Benicio del Toro is "Lado", Elena's enforcer, a sadistic, perverse, nasty, and brutal enforcer, torturer, executioner, and rapist. John Travolta plays Dennis, a corrupt federal agent, who is working with Lado to take over the cartel. Sandra Echeverria plays Magda, Elena's estranged daughter who Elena wants to bond with, who becomes entangled in the revenge plot. Demian Bichir plays Alex, the cartel's lawyer, who gets framd for trying to fuck over the cartel, and pays for it. This brings us to the violence. There's not as much action as the film promises, and the violence is brutal, but it doesn't come in often. When action does happen, it's intense, realistic, and graphic, but this rarely happens in the film. The run-time is ridiculous, at over 2 hours, and it's just boring. In films like Pulp Fiction and Natural Born Killers, the movie never dragged on or got boring because the characters and dialogue were so cool and entertaining that it distracted you away from the fact that the plot was going slowly. This film doesn't have that, and sort of drags on in some bits. They also over-use the word "savages" as if to remind you of the movie's title. I hate when movies do that. This is one of Oliver Stone's more mediocre films, not as good as his previous films, but bettwer than that Wall Street sequel. It's a good movie, but not as good as Killers, Platoon, JFK, or Born on Fourth of July. 3/5 stars. Note: There are a lot of classic Universal monster posters in the background, this being made during Universal's 100th anniversary.
Next: Batman marathon!
Editorial note (Dec. 1, 2012): This review does not necassarily reflect my opinions on these films now. I have a more fond outlook on them that i will talk about in my Top 2012 films list later on.

Steven Soderbergh, Wes Anderson, and Pixar's new films

Here are some films I saw today:

Magic Mike:
Now, before you say I'm gay, the only reason I saw this movie was because of the director: Steven Soderbergh. Now I heard he was going into retirement but was drawn out of this due to the intriguing script for the film, which revolved around the true story of star Channing Tatum's work as a male stripper before he made it big in Hollywood. He has directed some of the best modern films: Erin Brokovich, Traffic, Sex Lies and Videotape, and the cool horror-thriller Contagion. The plot of this film follows Mike Lane, an "entrepeneur" who owns several small businesses, and dreams of becoming a furniture designer who sells priceless, customized items at a bargain. To pay the bills, he moonlights as a male stripper at Matthew McConaughey's strip club: Xquisite. He goes by the stage name "Magic Mike", and is the most famous and well-loved of all the dancers at the club. He meets a new buddy: Adam, a slacker who lost his football scholarship due to a fist-fight with his coach. He lives with his sexy sister, Brooke, whom Mike begins to fall for. He recruits the unemployed Adam as male stripper "The Kid", who becomes just a popular as Mike. Unfortunately, they get involved in some shady activity, and their dreams begin to fall apart. The first half of the film is a very funny adult comedy, the second half being a somewhat dark drama. Funny enough, the stripping and erotic dancing is kept at a minimum, and is put in here and there to pander to the ladies of the audience. The cast is great. Channing Tatum is cool, funny, and convincing as Mike, a nice guy who just gets into fucked-up situations. Alex Pettyfer is excellent as Adam. He's got some anger issues and gets into some drug problems, making the audience both feel empathetic and somewhat angry at him. Cody Horn is good as Adam's hot but uptight sister Brooke, a medical assisstant. She tries to resist Mike and doesn't like him at first, but slowly begins to like him as her and her brother's relationship falls apart. Matthew McConaughey is funny as the over-enthusiastic, partying, egotistical strip club owner/dancer "Dallas". The male dancers all are funny and seem like brothers, being very caring and suppportive of each other. Hilarious Latino comedian Gabriel Iglesias plays DJ and ecstasy dealer Tobias. Model Olivia Munn is Mike's bisexual therapist "friend with benefits" Joanna. The direction is excellent, Soderbergh at his best. The writing is witty and funny. The film chronoicles three months: June, July, and August, and the slow decline of Mike and Adam's lives. This surprisingly dark dramady has a great script, good characters and acting, funny jokes, good direction, and a bittersweet ending. Not just for women, I recommend this film for guys too! 4/5 stars. (One note: It was awkward seeing this movie, because me and some guy with his wife were the only men in the theater. Everytime I walked out, there was a crowd of women going to see the movie.)

Moonrise Kingdom:
Now, don't get me wrong, I enjoy Wes Anderson films. I like Fantastic Mr. Fox and The Life Aquatic. But this film, I didn't really like. The plot follows two young kids who fall in love, and run off into the woods of their New England island town. Their parents and the police organize a search party right before a massive storm hits. The film is written by Anderson and Roman Coppola. (Who is the son of Francis Ford Coppola, brother to Sofia Coppola, and cousin to Nicolas Cage and Jason Schwartzman, who also stars in a small role.) Schwartzman isn't the only Anderson regular in the film. Bill Murray plays the young girl (Sally)'s father, Mr. Bishop. He is overprotective and odd. Her mother, Laura Bishop, played by Frances McDormand, is a good mother, who is a very, very good friend of the police captain. Captain Sharp, played by Bruce Willis, is a decent guy, not too intelligent or brave, but a good guy. Edward Norton plays Scout Master Ward, a bumbling Khaki scout master, who has sort-of-a-crush on a police assisstant. Tilda Swinton appears as a character from CPS known only as "Social Services". The kids who play the scout troopers were funny and, well, odd. Harvey Keitel appears near the end as the Khaki Commander Pierce. Jason Schwartzman appears in a semi-cameo as Cousin Ben, a Khaki trooper, who is very odd and intelligent. Kara Hayward and Jared Gillman appear in their very first roles as the uncommon, young, lovers who are social outcasts and who are both considered "mentally unstable". There is no way to descirbe an Anderson film with using the words "quirky, odd, strange, weird, and 'out-there'". So here goes: the script is quirky, the characters are odd, the setting is a weird choice, the director is an "out-there" guy, and the music is strange. The movie's setting is in 1963, so the opening is reminiscent of that period in cinema. The camerawork is even odd. This movie was not my kind of movie, just maybe I wasn't in the mood for an Anderson film, whatever, I was kinda bored. But, if your an Anderson fan or fan of film, go see this movie. 3/5 stars.

Brave:
Now this was a good film. Do not be late to this film! The movie starts with a beautiful and funny little Pixar short called "La Luna". The plot follows Meredith, the princess of a Scottish kingdom of warriors. She logns to be a free warrior, but her mother wants her to be a proper princess. She defies her mother and the rules of the kingdom, screwing with the age-old tradition of the first-born of the warrior clans fighting for her hand in marriage. Her mother and her get into a fight, and she runs off, getting a potion from a witch that will "change her fate". She accidentally turns her mother into a bear, and must get her help before the spell becomes permanent. She must also avoid her father, who has a pregidous against bears, because a mysterious bear took his leg when Meredith was a child. The voice acting is fantastic. I don't know the voice actors, but they're convincing and excellent. The animation is stunning, and beautiful. It's so detailed and amazing, some shots look real. The characters are great. Meredith and her mother have a great relationship, constantly arguing but still loving each other. Her father is a big, lovable, fun guy, but he can be a fierce warrior when needed. The warrior clans and lords are all over-the-top and have funny personalities (One is named after the Macintosh computer, another is named after Hitchcock's "McGuffin"). Her little, mostly mute triplet brothers are a funny slapstick routine, tormenting this poor maid constantly, and pulling pranks on mostly everyone. There is no real villain in the film except for the mysterious black bear. The film is wonderfully animated and acted. It's a real treat, that almost everyone can enjoy! 4/5 stars. (The film is in memory of Steve Jobbs, who was friends with George Lucas and John Lasseter.)

Who'd have thought that a kids' fantasy film and a movie about male strippers would prove my favorite films I saw today, and two of the best this year? Next: Ted, Savages, and Batman marathon!!

Editorial note (Dec. 2, 2012): I stand by my opinions of Brave and Magic Mike, but have since grown on Moonrise Kingdom. I figured I just wasn't in the mood for Anderson at the time of day. I will go into detail more in my "Top 2012 movies" list later on.

Spiderman Movies Part II

Now we continue the Spiderman movie reviews...

Spiderman 3:
Now, this was one of the most hyped movies of 2007 (besides Transformers and The Simpsons Movie). The movie promised Venom, one of the most iconic, deadly, and popular Spiderman villains. It also promised Harry Osborne as a new version of the Green Goblin and the Sandman, a classic villain with shape-shifting sand powers. The film premiered and everyone was... mixed. Many hated and despised the movie, and others thought it was okay. I, in my 8-year-old mind, liked it alright. The plot follows Peter and MJ having problems, with Spiderman always getting attention, and MJ's acting career crumbling, causing her to be a singing waitress at a jazz club/bar. Harry is now distraught and has devised a new Goblin serum and tech collection to kill Peter, who he found out to be Spiderman. Peter and Aunt May find out the burglar who killed Uncle Ben (and whom Peter accidentally killed)may not be the one who did it. His partner-in-crime, Flint Marko, may ahve killed Ben, and has recently broken out of prison. He is subsequently trapped in a field, and stumbles upon a nculear weapons test site, which is testing some sort of sci-fi fusion, which accidentally fuses Marko with sand, turning him into the Sandman. Meanwhile, an alien symbiote crash-lands on Earth and attaches itself to Peter, creating a black form of the Spiderman costume. This amplifies Peter's strength and powers, causing him to stop using the original suit. this begins to take over his mind, making him more cocky, and eventually more of a bad guy. He eventually disgards it, which accidentally causes his rival at the Daily Bugle, Eddie Brock, to become Venom, when the symbiote finds him and fuses with him. He decides to team up with the Sandman, and take down Spidey. (He does this because Spiderman was an asshole, and Peter caused him to be shamed and lose his job. He finds out the two are the same and decides to kill him.) The cast is still great. Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, J.K. Simmons, and James Franco are as good as ever, and the new cast is good too. Thomas Haden Church is convincing and very empathetic as the Sandman. He is just trying to cure his daughter of her cancer, and robs banks to try and get her research and hospital money. When he becomes the Sandman, he continues on this quest, Spiderman just sort of gets in the way sometimes. Bryce Dallas Howard is an okay supporting role as Gwen Stacey, who is kind of misrepresented in this film. Dylan Baker is a good supporting character as Peter's science teacher and friend Dr. Curt Connors (who does not turn into the Lizard in this series). James Cromwell is okay as Stacey's father, the police captain. Topher Grace is miscast as Venom. He's a good actor, but he is just too scrawny and pathetic to play Venom. Venom is a weasel, but he's supposed to be buff, intimidating. Grace is too quirky and skinny to play him. When he becomes Venom, he goes into straight-up villain mode, where Venom in the comics was an antihero. Also, when he's in Venom form, he always peels back the scary monster face and shows his normal human face. It's not threatening, shouldn't a villain scare his enemies? A lot of people complained about Venom not being in the film enough. Sam Raimi didn't even intend on having Venom, so people should be lucky they got the 20 minutes of Venom. Well, talking about Venom, let's move on to special effects. The special effects are great, Spiderman's action scenes look so realistic, it's amazing. Sandman reminds me of the T-1000 from T2, CGI used properly. The scenes with the sandstorm, and the shape-shifting look incredible. They spent countless hours designing each grain of sand. Venom looks fantastic, even though he's barely in the film. The New Goblin's costume looks stupid and silly, but the flight scenes are pretty cool. The action is great, it's almost nonstop. From the saving of Gwen Stacey, to the first fight with Sandman, to the subway fight, to the flight fight with New Goblin, to the fight with Harry at the Osborne mansion, to the final epic fight between Venom and Sandman and New Goblin and Spiderman. The musical score is as good as ever, with a new threatening score for Sandman, and creepy score for the black suit and Venom. Although not as good as the original or the second, this film still delivers, and gives me a nostalgic feeling when I watch it. 3/5 stars. Stan Lee makes a cameo as a guy who talks to Peter about "making a difference". Bruce Campbell makes a cameo as a French restaurant host who mispronounces Peter's last name "Pecker". By the way, Emo Peter was a mistake and existed only as filler for the run time.

The Amazing Spider-Man:
I'm just gonna cut to the chase here. (I'll jump around a bit during this review) This film is a mediocre mess, a disappointment. The plot follows Peter's quick journey to becoming Spidey and saving the day. Now, the first half rushes through the first half of the original: Peter's parents disappear, Peter is in high school, Ben is shot, Peter becomes Spidey. The second half got better, with cool visuals, a threatening villain, and some good action. The cast is not as great as the original. Andrew Garfield (of The Social Network and Dr. Parnassus) is a good Spiderman, being quirky and nerdy, but isn't as good as Tobey, or likeable. He almost plays it as a "cool nerd", and can come off as a bit of a dick at times. He also isn't as kind or as close to his aunt and uncle as previously shown. Emma Stone is good as love interest Gwen Stacey (better than in Spiderman 3). Rhys Ifans (of films such as Hannibal Rising, Greenberg, and Notting Hill) is a good and creepy villain as The Lizard. His plan is to improve the world by turning everyone into reptilians, making us nearly indestructible and extremely strong and smart. Martin Sheen and Sally Field are good as Ben and May Parker, but not as firmly attached to Peter as in the original. Peter tries to avenge Uncle Ben, but just gives it up half-way through the movie. They're more like just normal parents instead of the extremely supportive, caring, loving aunt and uncle from the comics and first movie. Martin Sheen dies about 25 minutes into the movie, rather than like 45 minutes in. The "Great power, great responsibility" lesson is thrown out the window, not even mentioned. Oscorp is not presented as a normal corporation, but as a megacorporation evil empire like OCP in Robocop. Norman Osborne is never seen and is mentioned as "sick and dying". Denis Leary is good as police Captain George Stacey, a loving father and intimidating enemy of Spidey. Chris Zylka is good as bully Flash Thompson, but comes off as a sadistic bastard, not just a bully, which makes his kindness towards Peter after his uncle's death more unbelievable. The direction choice is odd. You'd think someone named Marc Webb would be a good Spiderman director, but with credits like 500 Days of Summer, maybe he wasn't the ideal choice.The introduction of Spidey is rushed, poorly done, and just odd. The special effects are good, very good. Spidey swinging around the city is incredible, full of slow-motion shots and tracking shots. The Lizard is a huge monster, with Rhys putting on a motion capture performance for the face. There's also a cool scene where the director lets us hear his inner thoughts, like a comic book thought bubble. The Spidey suit is weirdly designed and produced by the circus company Cirque Du Soleil. The film has weird sci-fi tech, unlike the original. Also, the film doesn't have the cool camera angles or comic book-feel of the originals. There are, however, cool shots from the view of Spidey crawling walls and swinging around. The film doesn't feel like a Spiderman film, and takes itself a bit too seriously. There is little action, but it's good when it happens. From the Lizard fight on the bridge, to the fight in the sewers, to the fight in the high school, to the final fight at Oscorp. The musical score is extremely bland, in fact, I forgot the tune, just now, I only got out of the movie two hours ago. In all fairness, it's not the worst movie out there, I'd rather see this than Batman and Robin, but if you're expecting the greatness of the original trilogy, or the epic-ness and excellence of Avengers and The Dark Knight, don't look here. 2/5 stars.
Stan Lee makes a funny cameo as an oblivious librarian in the school fight scene. *SPOILERS ahead*
The differences between the movie and comic are as follows: Peter knows his parents in the movie, he never knew them in the comics. Curt Connors was Peter's teacher in the comics and the previous films, but he's an Oscorp scientist in the film. Captain Stacey is killed by the Lizard in the film, but in the comics he was crushed by falling debris while saving a small child.
(SPOILERS) In a post-credits scene, Connors is incarcerated and is approached by a shadowy figure, who suddenly disappears after questioning the doctor about Peter Parker. The video game and mention of Norman Osborne suggests that the sequel may revolve around Spider-Slayers or the Green Goblin. There is also a dedication to Laura Ziskin, who died last month, and produced the original Spidey films and this one, a great Marvel producer just like Stan Lee and Avi Arad.

Next time: Brave, Magic Mike and Moonrise Kingdom

Batman Movies Part I

In 1939, Robert "Bob" Kane was a young man. He was getting into the comics medium, and was hired to make a new colorful character for a small comics comapny who attained the rights to Superman. (This company would evolve into DC comics, one of the two biggest comics companies ever.) He researched former pulp heroes like The Phantom, The Shadow, and Zorro. (Shadow and Phantom would later be turned into DC comics.) He also researched a DaVinci sketch for a flight machine, desinged like a bat. He watched several horror films: Nosferatu, Dracula, and The Bat. The Bat was his biggest inspiration: the "Bat" is a serial killer who wear the mask of a bat, and a winged cape, and uses a bat-signal to warn his future victims. He came up with the dark avenger the "Batman". A rich kid whose parents were killed in a mugging when he was a child, he disappeared for years, training, becoming a science and fighting expert. He took a cape and cowl similar to the "Bat" and became a crime-fighter, killing numerous enemies in Gotham City. He was pretty cheap in the early comics, not even having the Batcave or Batmobile, just a red car and a closet. But, he proved incredibly popular. He has grown out of the hugely successful comics and into numerous media: TV shows, cartoons (including the incredibly good Batman: The Animated Series and Justice League), video games (Batman: Arkham Asylum, Batman: Arkham City), and even novels (adaptations of Knightfall and No Man's Land). Batman has  large "Bat-family", including Robins I, II, and III, Bat-Girls I and II, Alfred Pennyworth, Commissioner Jim Gordon, Ace the Bat-Hound, and Bat-Woman. He also has collected numerous allies such as Superman, Wonder Woman, Officer Renee Montoya, Detective Harvey Bullock, DA Harvey Dent (later the villain Two-Face), and Lieutenant Stan Kitch. He also has (in my opinion) the best villains in any comic book. The psychotic clown Joker, the brutal gangster The Penguin, the scarred and schizophrenic Two-Face, the genius Riddler, the fear-obsessed doctor Scarecrow, the mad doctor Hugo Strange, the love interest/burglar Catwoman, the immortal Ra's Al Ghul, the shape-shifting Clayface, the sexy and deadly Poison Ivy, the undead monster Solomon Grundy, the brutal and intelligent Bane, the mind-contorlling freak Mad Hatter, serial killer Victor Zsasz, the mobsters Carmine Falcone and Salvatore Maroni, the corrupt former commissioner Gillian Loeb, corrupt cop Flass, the animalistic reptilian monster-man Killer Croc, the super-strong Amygdala, the multiple-personality puppeter The Ventriloquist, the psychotic gangster Black Mask, the insane billionair with a god complex Maxie Zuess, the pyromaniac Firefly, the assassins Deadshot and Deathstroke, and the psychotic arsonist Killer Moth. Batman's first real silver screen adventures took place in the 1940's...

Batman and Batman and Robin (1940's):
These films are cheaply made, campy fun. They're about 4 hours long each, broken ino several parts. The first follows Batman and Robin taking down a half-assed, non-comics villain Dr. Daka, a Japanese mad scientist who wats to take over the world. This during WWII, which is why there is such a biasedness towards the Japanese. But, this film actually introduced the Bat Cave (a desk with bats flying around), the entrance behind the grandfather clock, and Alfred's appearance. In the comics he was clean-trimmed and fat, in the movie and comics afterwards, Alfred has a thin moustahce and is lean. The film isn't the best production of Batman, but it's fun and nostalgic. The sequel, Batman and Robin, had another half-assed villain called "The Wizard", and it's just campy fun. I give these 3/5 stars for camp vlaue, but if you're looking for a real Batman movie, don't look here.

Batman 1966 series and movie:
This series is actually intentionally campy. It's hilarious The over-acting and bad dialogue is reminiscent of a B-movie. Adam West is so remembered in the role that he voiced The Grey Ghost in the Batman: TAS episode "Beware the Grey Ghost", the Grey Ghost being Bruce's childhood idol on TV. The villains are hilarious: Cesar Romero as the over-zealous Joker, Lee Meriwther and Julie Newmar as Catwoman, Frank Gorshin as the over-excited Riddler, and Burgess Merideth as the squaking Penguin. The fight scenes re over-the-top and hilarious, with the nonsensical sound-effects. (Bam! Pow! Zocko! Sploosh!) I love the episode where Joker and Batman go surfing and have a beach party. This definitely doesn't take itself seriously. It give it 3/5 stars for camp value.

Next time on the Batmovies marathon, we'll look at Burton's Batman, and the Schumacher Batman.

About Dark Shadows and Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter...

I'm not going to see them. I heard that Dark Shadows was a piece of shit. I don't have time to see it. I heard Abe Lincoln was trash. I don't have time to see it either.

About the Superman reviews...

They're not happening this year. Maybe next May when the new Superman movie is released (Man of Steel), but not now, I'm too busy.