These are the comedy movies that almost nobody likes, even Sandler fans... (I'll be referring to the actors by their names in this review, not by character names, as their characters aren't too developed, so it's kind of pointless.)
Grown Ups:
Five childhood friends reunite one summer for the funeral of their basketball coach's funeral and take their families to a lake house for the weekend. Shenanigans ensue. This film is pretty bad. Adam Sandler, Kevin James, David Spade, Chris Rock, and Rob Schneider star. The film seems more like they just wanted a paycheck and a nice vacation to a lake house. Chris Rock, what happened? You were one of the great stand-up acts, you were an edgy, hilarious, controversial comedian. Seriously, why are you in this movie? Although, Rock and Tim Meadows share one of the only funny moments in the film, near the end. I feel bad for James, as his character is one huge fat joke, and it's funny for like one second, and then it gets really, really irritating, and you feel bad for the guy. Another actor you begin to feel bad for is Rob Schneider. You feel bad because he can get slightly irritating in the film, but he's a nice, albeit odd and over-the-top guy, and the rest of the comedians use him as an emotional and physical punching bag, it's not funny, it comes off as just mean-spirited. It goes above friends just messing around, and seems like they genuinely want to hurt him and his feelings. Sandler is the worst of all. Again, he basically makes himself out to be the greatest guy ever. He's rich, successful, has a couple of extremely annoying children, has a really hot wife who is eons out of his league, and everybody is either jealous or admires him, even though he's kind of an asshole. Spade is a ladies' man. That itself is enough to convince any viewer this is pure fiction. Although I don't dislike Spade, and think (like Sandler and Rock) his earlier work was genuinely funny, I just don't imagine him scoring with the ladies too often. James appears like he's filling a role that Chris Farley would have filled if it had been the mid-to-late 90's. The wives of these guys (with the exception of Schneider, who's wife in the film is elderly, and Spade, who has no wife in the movie) are way out of their league. Salma Hayek with Adam Sandler? Yeah right! Maria Bello with Kevin James? Probably not. (James actually has a very beautiful wife in real life, which may surprise a few people.) Maya Rudolph with Chris Rock? More believable, honestly. Joyce Van Patten plays Schneider's friendly, but slightly odd, elderly fiancée. The supporting cast include other
SNL cast members such as Norm Macdonald and Colin Quinn (Rudolph, Meadows, Schneider, Spade, and Sandler are all former cast members, as well.) Madison Riley, Jamie Chung, and Ashley Loren plays Schneider's three daughters from previous relationships, the first two are used as eye candy for the guys in the audience and in the film, the third actually resembles Schneider. Jake Goldberg, Cameron Boyce, Alexys Nycole Sanchez, Ada-Nicole Sanger, Frank and Morgan Ginegrich, Nadji Jeter, and China Anne McClain round out the main cast as the ever irritating kids of the friends, Sandler's boys are so spoiled and pampered in the movie that they don't know about TV boxes or tap water. Ebony Jo-Ann appears in a small role as Maya Rudolph's mother, who hates and berates her son-in-law Chris Rock. Director Dennis Dugan (who has worked with Sandler on tons of projects) and Dan Patrick make cameos in the film. Steve Buscemi, doing his regular Sandler cameo, is Wiley, an extremely pale rival of the guys, who you really feel bad for, as he takes an extreme beating in the movie. That brings me to one of the main problems with this film, which is a problem with many recent Sandler films (with the exception of
Punch-Drunk Love and
Funny People), tons of mean-spirited and immature jokes targeted at pre-teen boys punctuated with moments of contrived and forced sappiness that make you want to vomit. There's also a forced message about being a good parent and teaching your kids or something. Another major problem is the lack of plot or conflict, all conflicts are resolved in a second, and everyone forgives each other with few consequences. The wives in this film are basically "perfect", they always forgive their husbands and give them free passes despite the husbands being out of line or stupid. I could go on about this for days, so I'll just say this:
Grown Ups is a lazy summer comedy, which barely tries to do anything new or funny, and when it does try, it fails...badly. The jokes are immature and stupid, the characters bland and irresponsible, and the plot... oh wait, there really isn't one. 1.5/5 stars.
Grown Ups 2:
Lenny (Sandler) has moved his family back to his home town three years after the first film. On the last day of school, the "grown ups" are accepting their children are growing up, and are learning from their kids this time, all while preparing for the summer. Shenanigans ensue. Now, this film is actually not worse than the first. How so? Well, it somehow, despite having less of a plot, got a few more laughs out of me, but that's not too many. Like the first, I still got a few chuckles here and there, but overall, it's terrible. Sandler, James, Rock, Spade, Rudolph, Hayek, Bello, Meadows, Quinn, Buscemi, and the kids all reprise their roles here. Buscemi expands upon his and becomes more of a nice guy. Rock is still the best part of the movie, despite not having much to do. Jake Goldberg and Nadji Jeter are nearly unrecognizable due to how much they've, well, grown up in three years. Alexander Ludwig (Cato from
The Hunger Games) plays Spade's somewhat crazy estranged son Braden, probably the only character who's somewhat funny to watch because he starts off so crazy. There are more celebrities in this film. Nick Swardson, Steve Austin, Shaquille O'Neal, Peter Dante, director Dennis Dugan, Allen Covert (known for his work with Sandler), Aly Michalka, and Dan Patrick all have either cameos or supporting roles in the film. Taylor Lautner, Milo Ventimiglia, David Henrie (
That's So Raven, How I Met Your Mother, Wizards of Waverly Place), and Patrick Schwarzenegger play these insane, steroid-taking, cultist-like frat boys who are the younger rivals of the "grown ups" and spark an all-out war at a party. These could be impersonators, but I believe The J. Geils Band make an appearance. The Lonely Island, Bobby Moynihan, Taran Killam, Paul Brittain, and Will Forte (all from
SNL, a few from previous Sandler vehicles) appears in cameos as male cheerleaders. Jon Lovitz (from
SNL and other comedic work) appears in a cameo a perverted janitor. Sandler's real-life children make cameos in the film as well. April Rose appears as a sexy dance instructor, who is Austin's girlfriend in the film. Cheri Oteri makes a cameo as Buscemi's wife, who works for Hayek and has a fixation on Sandler. Bill Hudson (Kate Hudson's brother, who appeared in
Rules of Engagement) plays the wives' object of affection Kyle, their exercise instructor. Now that the cast is out of the way, I would like to point out something odd. Near the end of the film, I pointed out to my friend who was with me that Rob Schneider wasn't in it, something that I had just realized then and was shocked by. I felt some element was missing from this film, and that was him. I'm unsure why he didn't appear, but I thought he would at least make a cameo or be mentioned, nope. It's like he never even existed. Weird. The kids, especially Sandler's daughter in the film, are still very annoying. The teens aren't as bad, though, but Meadow's son in the film is very irritating. Lautner wasn't too bad, though, and there was a funny moment in the theater where I heard some teenage girl just say completely out loud "So hot..." There was one moment that had me chuckling near the opening where Sandler points out that he always has wives that are too hot for him in all his films. One of the problems with the movie, at least for the first two-thirds, is that many characters are either extremely stupid, extremely mean, or just insane. They do eventually change, but Sandler starts out hard to like because he's kind of a dick to his friends and family, and many of the guys starts off pulling mean and somewhat hurtful pranks on people. The kids aren't any better, now Adam's young son is basically a prodigy who can throw footballs at a college level accuracy and speed. One thing it did tone down was Spade's status as a ladies' man, he does sleep around, but with less young, hot girls and girls more his age, and even made a joke about the woman he actually chooses as his girlfriend: an extremely masculine woman wit anger issues. The wives still forgive their husbands for everything they do (even when Sandler yells at his wife for wanting another kid at one point), hell, Bello rewards her husband with a cheerleader carwash for lying to her, which backfires. As for the humor, it's better, but there are way more gross-out gags and sex jokes. There's even a joke early on about Sandler's older son jerking off in the shower to a girl he likes, which the younger son mentions at the dinner table of all places with his mom and younger sister present. Some jokes from the original, such as the "peeing in the pool" gag make a return, and there's one joke about rolling in a tire, which incorporates the most fake-looking CG ever. I know it's a comedy, so special effects aren't the priority, but come on! It looks like a YouTube video! A few odd plot things here, too: like the entire town showing up for Sandler's 80's party, or, again, never mentioning Schneider! (MILD SPOILERS): While this is not really too much of a spoiler, still, I warned you. At the end of the first film, Sandler allowed his rivals to be the victors on purpose they could have a taste of what it feels like to win, as opposed to always losing and Sandler always winning, a nice thing to do. Here, Sandler's muscular childhood bully lets him win in a fight on purpose as not to embarrass him in front of the whole town, another nice thing to do. Sandler tells his friends about it, but otherwise goes along with it. (END OF SPOILERS)
Grown Ups 2 isn't as bad as it's predecessor, but it's no classic either. It's got lame jokes, stupid characters, and no plot, but hey, it's
Grown Ups 2, what did you really expect? 2/5 stars.
A review of the first film I enjoyed:
http://blip.tv/film-brain/bad-movie-beatdown-grown-ups-5022011


(Images: Wikipedia)