The Lone Ranger:
Disney seems to be trying to make itself out to be a powerhouse for big action blockbusters, especially those based on other popular media. In the past decade they created an action-adventure franchise out of Pirates of the Caribbean, which was based on a dark ride in one of their theme parks, which spawned the popular character Jack Sparrow and made millions at the box office. They recently tried to restart the franchise with a fourth film, which took from the pirate novel On Stranger Tides, the film did decently at the box office but was a critical failure, and rightfully so. It didn't feel like a Pirates film, and took a lot of the fun out of the franchise. See this video, which is a half-hour rant/review for more details: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9zMx2m9BkA. Luckily, the next year Disney had a record-breaking hit, a little film called Marvel's The Avengers. The film not only broke box-office records, but was a success with audiences and critics, and was hailed by one critic at Fandango.com states it was "The Best Superhero Movie of All Time". This was actually the end of "Phase One" of a huge franchise, and the beginning of "Phase Two", the first of it's kind, the first huge, crossover franchise, based off the beloved and acclaimed comic books from Marvel. Disney now got Gore Verbinski (the man who directed the first three Pirates films , as well as the American remake of The Ring and the acclaimed animated western-comedy Rango) to direct a big-budget, action-packed adaptation/reboot of The Lone Ranger television and radio series. Unfortunately, in the past few weeks it's been met with critical scorn and less-than-fantastic box office results. The film version follows John Reid, a lawyer and ex-Texas Ranger, who travels back to his home town in the Wild West to see his Ranger brother Dan, Dan's wife Rebecca, and their son Danny. During a train robbery, the two encounter wanted cannibalistic criminal Butch Cavendish, the leader of a band of murderers and thieves. Later, Dan is killed (no surprised, there), along with John and the rest of a Ranger troupe, who were sent to catch Butch in a desert canyon. John is resurrected somehow by Tonto, a somewhat delusional and eccentric Comanche Indian who recruits John in his quest for vengeance against the band of killers. John dons a domino mask and Ranger uniform, and takes the identity of "The Lone Ranger" and sets out with Tonto to take down the thieves and uncover their evil plans. The film stars Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer. They do the best they can with the script handed to them, but Depp comes off way too over-the-top and weird, in a Jack Sparrow-type role as the eccentric oddball, he is a bit typecast in these roles, in my opinion, especially in big budget Disney films. I also felt they could have gotten an actual Native American, or somebody who resembles one, rather than getting somebody because of name alone. Hammer (who appeared in The Social Network, J. Edgar, and Mirror Mirror) is a bit of a bland action hero, and actually starts off the film as a bit of a pussy, no offense to the actor. They do their best though, and I admire them for at least trying to make the most out of the script. William Fichtner (Prison Break, Armageddon, The Perfect Storm, The Dark Knight, Blades of Glory, Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas) plays Butch Cavendish. He is a good villain, but is a bit typical. There's nothing really special about him, except for the nasty fact he eats the hearts of his enemies. Tonto describes him as a "Wendigo", which is a famous Native American ghost story where cannibals becomes flesh-eating, demonic forest creatures/spirits. Tom Wilkinson (In the Bedroom, The Patriot, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, John Adams, Batman Begins, The Full Monty, Michael Clayton, The Gruffalo, Ghost Writer, Recount, and much more) plays Latham Cole, a respectable and friendly railroad tycoon. Ruth Wilson (Anna Karenina, Luther) plays Rebecca, John's love interest, she basically plays damsel most of the film. Helena Bonham Carter(who basically appears in anything Tim Burton or Johnny Depp does) plays Red, a somewhat attractive prostitute, who unfortunately is an amputee with a fake leg, which you think would be a turn off, but for some reason, a few characters in the film have this creepy amputee fetish and get off on it, which is weird for a Disney film. James Badge Dale (24, The Pacific, Rubicon, The Departed, Iron Man 3, World War Z) plays Dan, John's bad-ass Texas Ranger brother. Barry Pepper (Saving Private Ryan, Flags of Our Fathers, The Green Mile, *61, True Grit, The Kennedys, We Were Soldiers, 25th Hour, Unknown, Snitch) portrays Captain Jay Fuller, a US Cavalry officer who resembles George Custer. The cast all do good for what they were given, but overall they came off as mediocre, which sucks because this is a lineup of good actors, who have done great work before. There is a strange subplot involving a young boy (played by Mason Cook) in 1933 San Francisco (which resembles the 1910's more than the 30's) who is told the story of the film by an extremely old and kind of delirious Tonto, who is posing as a museum figure in a cowboy exhibit. The subplot is kind of weird, under-explained, and overall has no real pay-off, and could have been left out completely. The action sequences are pretty fun and enjoyable, but when you look at it from a logical stand-point, a lot of it is contrived and unrealistic (as with most action films). Even though most action films are over-the-top, this gets to a point where you just go "Really? You think I'm that stupid to buy this shit?" There's suspending disbelief, and then there's treating the audience like 2-year-olds. The CG is also pretty decent, but for a huge summer blockbuster, it's a bit lackluster. Now, I'm sure a ton of people are going "You say that treating the audience like 2-year-olds is stupid? But it's Disney, it's for little kids." Now, I would usually agree, but this film is not for 2-year-olds. I wouldn't have a problem taking kids to see it, but there is actually a good deal of violence in the film, including a human heart being eaten off-screen, and, as I stated before, some characters have a creepy amputee fetish, which I'm guessing doesn't appeal to kids very much. The film also may not hold little kids' interests, as, like the first three Pirates film, it's pretty damn long, about 2-and-a-half hours long. Although the film has some good humor, fun action, and some sequences with some stylized visuals, it probably won't hold your 2-to-5-year-old's interest for very long. But on the positive, the music is pretty interesting, reminiscent of a classic Western, but also kind of fresh and new. If you look past the major lapses in logic and reason, The Lone Ranger might be a fun action movie to bring your kids or pre-teens to. Teens might even enjoy it. To the average adult, I say check it out if you have a spare couple hours, go to a matinee, though. It's no Pirates of the Caribbean and it's definitely not The Avengers, but it's decent enough. Best of the year? Hell no. Worst of the year? Definitely not. It's just decent. But if you really want something great, I recommend you check out Man of Steel or Star Trek if they're still in a theater nearby, or check out Pacific Rim, which is a fun blockbuster, too. If you saw The Lone Ranger, leave a comment below, I'd love to hear what you, the readers, thought of it. Disney, a word to the wise: Don't base an action blockbuster on an old action TV show from the 50's and 60's, it didn't work for The Green Hornet (great show, bad movie), it's not gonna work for you. 2.5/5 stars.
(Image: Wikipedia)
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