Criteria:
No movies that I genuinely hate (that's a given)
Based on personal opinion
10. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers- The Movie: Now this is something that's an example of the nostalgia kind of guilty pleasure. I used to love watching this movie when I was young, like really young, around maybe 4 or 5. As I got older, like most people, I grew out of the Power Rangers phase around age 6 or 7. However, this movie (and the franchise in general) is great to watch as an adult for a good laugh. The laughable plot, acting that's either phoned-in or extremely hammy, terribly written dialogue, immature and unthreatening villains, and shitty CGI and prosthetics are the main reasons most people hate this movie, but it's also the reason many people enjoy re-watching it just for the nostalgia and laugh factors. Seriously, how can you not help but laugh at the over-the-top bad guy, who basically looks like Emperor Palpatine with a purple paint-job, who also manages to be even more cheesy than Palpatine. He chews scenery like there's no tomorrow. Trust me, just watch the movie, it's hard to not at least smirk at it.
9. Transformers: Michael Bay's over-the-top and sometimes mind-numbingly stupid big-screen adaptation of the popular 80's cartoon was a huge hit at the box office, but critics denounce it as being mindless drivel that panders to dumb teens and young kids. Although the main human characters are terribly written and, as far as acting goes, they phoned-it-in for every single performance. Not to mention the accusations of racism because of the film's juvenile humor, which sometimes uses racial stereotypes as the basis for its' jokes. But I like it because of the pretty entertaining action sequences and the awesome voice work on the robots themselves, including Hugo Weaving as Megatron and the return of Peter Cullen as the voice of Optimus Prime. However, the two sequels are just garbage, they're not so-bad-they're-good, they're so-bad-they're-fucking-unbearable.
8. Stephen King's IT: This two-part television miniseries from 1990 holds many people in it's grip of fear: tons of people I've talked to say how this movie traumatized them as a kid because of Tim Curry's terrifying performance as the demonic entity that takes the form of a killer clown. So, I finally mustered up the courage to watch it when I was 10, and... it's all bullshit. I just can't imagine why people are afraid of this shit, I mean, yeah, one of the scenes in the second episode involving "IT" disguised as an elderly woman is pretty unsettling, and the main theme is creepy, but other than that, it's not fucking scary. The adult actors aren't bad, they are just cast in dull roles with nothing really to work with. The special effects are what you'd expect from a TV movie from 1990, they're shit, involving bad stop-motion and even worse prosthetics. But what really makes this one a guilty pleasure is Tim Curry as Pennywise the Dancing Clown (the main villain). Holy shit, this guy knows how to ham it up just right. Channeling his comedic side from his Rocky Horror days, Curry just goes crazy in this role. He's hilarious, he just goofs around and does random shit in the background of such scenes and the cheesy and self-aware way he delivers such lines as "Beep, beep Ritchie!" and "We all float down here!" is just priceless. I can't believe people found this guy scary. (I mean, maybe when you're like five or something, but to still be fearful in your twenties and thirties is just ridiculous.)
7. The Fifth Element: Luc Besson's slick, thrilling, colorful, stylized, energetic, and slightly self-aware and comedic sci-fi/action is a good watch if you love science fiction, comedy, or cheesy 90's action films. The design of the world is familiar and has some things that we have in our world (McDonalds, New York cabbies, obnoxious celebrities), but is just different enough. Some of the customs and practices of the people in this world are pretty strange and foreign to us, so it's fascinating from that perspective. What makes this a "guilty pleasure" is the over-the-top action sequences, the annoying as hell but also mildly amusing supporting character played by Chris Tucker, and the scenery chewing and just plain weird bad guy played by the great Gary Oldman, who previously played the terrifying villain in Besson's Leon: The Professional. Despite the stunning visuals, impressive special effects, and cool hero (played by the bad-ass Bruce Willis), many people hate on this movie for the three things I just listed, which for me, are actually "so-bad-they're-funny" qualities. This is also a bit of a nostalgia thing, as I used to really like this movie when I was a young kid.
6. Con Air: Simon West and Jerry Bruckheimer's adrenaline-fueled, star-studded action film starring Nicolas Cage, John Cusack, and John Malkovich is incredibly cheesy and over-the-top, but also extremely entertaining and exhilarating. Even though Cage is a bit bland as the main hero (and also has a terrible hair cut), at least he tones down the crazy for this movie. On the other hand, Malkovich is perfect because he cranks the over-the-top insanity to eleven as the villain: Cyrus "The Virus". This movie is another one I liked when I was younger, like 11 or 12, and it's one I still turn on once-in-a-while for simple nostalgia or for a 90's action movie fix.
5. Starship Troopers: Paul Verhoeven's crazy and extremely gory sci-fi action film/satire was panned for it's wooden acing, one-dimensional characters, and over-reliance on gore and shock value, but many people missed the point. The reason all the characters are bland and under-developed, the acting is bad, and the film is over-reliant on graphic violence is because the film is a satire on both the American military and society in general, but also on cheesy and over-the-top 80's and early 90's action films. The film is essentially a parody of itself, and that's what's great about it. Plus, the CGI monsters are actually really scary and well-animated, so that's a plus.
4. Dumb and Dumber and The Cable Guy (tie): Both of these Jim Carrey movies are pretty good, despite some critical backlash. The former is one that everyone's seen at one point or another, some hate it, others love it. It was a huge box office success, and although it's extremely over-the-top, goofy, and sophomoric, it's still a pretty good comedy if you like that kind of thing. The second one is a film a lot of people hate on, and I don't know why. Sure it's dark and weird and a bit creepy, but it's also funny, a bit surreal, and even a little touching, in an odd sort of way. Its' underrated in my opinion.
3. Signs: Despite having mixed reviews, I still enjoy this M. Night Shyamalan alien movie. Despite some laughable moments and plot holes, (Aliens who mastered space travel can't break through boarded-up basement doors, and travelled to a planet covered with the only thing that hurts them: water? Come on!) this movie is pretty enjoyable. It has some good scares, some good CGI, and an ominous feel to it. Despite the sometimes awkward dialogue, bad child actors, bland alien design, and dumb plot twist, I still think Signs is one of Shyamalan's better movies, but definitely not his best (Unbreakable and The Sixth Sense are far superior), but it's also not the worst (The Last Airbender holds that title).
2. Joel Schumacher's Batman films (Batman Forever and Batman & Robin): I used to like these movies... then I turned eight. These movies are the epitome of cheesy, with hammy acting, bad costume design, sets that are way too flashy and colorful, and laughable villains. However, if you're bored and want to watch something that will entertain you and make you laugh your ass off at its' sheer stupidity, then pop one of these in. You and your buddies can even turn it into a fun drinking game. A word of warning though: if you play a Batman & Robin drinking game, don't make it a rule that you have to take a shot every time Arnold Schwarzenegger makes an ice-related pun, because you'll be dead before the credits, as your blood will be 99.9% alcohol. Other than that you should be good.
Before I unveil the number one pick, here are some honorable mentions:
Judge Dredd
Pirates of the Caribbean sequels (excluding the fourth film, that's just a terrible movie)
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
Friday the 13th (2009)
Death to Smoochy
Tommy Boy
Black Sheep (2006)
Black Sheep (1996)
Braindead (aka Dead-Alive)
The Evil Dead trilogy
A.I.: Artificial Intelligence
Tomb Raider film series
Top Gun
Austin Powers trilogy
The Mask
Stephen King's The Tommyknockers
Stephen King's The Langoliers
Stardust
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (for sheer stupidity)
Independence Day
Star Wars prequels (for sheer stupidity)
Mortal Kombat
Highlander
Children of the Corn
Spider-Man 3
X-Men: The Last Stand
1. The Room: Tommy Wiseau's hilariously bad "drama" has been dubbed "the Citizen Kane of bad movies". Greg Sestero's entertaining book The Disaster Artist is a novel I'm reading right now, and it's as hilarious as this movie. It chronicles the troubled production of this film, and the author's personal relationship with the producer, director, writer, and star of the movie: Tommy Wiseau, an incredibly strange and awkward man from a foreign country whose origins are mysterious. Room fans have theorized Wiseau is actually an alien based on his strange behavior and how odd and fucked-up his movie turned out. From the numerous unresolved plot threads, to awful dialogue and acting, to the uncomfortable-to-watch sex scenes, to even the camerawork and lighting, almost everything about the movie is terrible, but in a charming way, and you can't help but burst out laughing hearing the delivery of the film's lines by it's stars, especially Wiseau himself, whose peculiar accent makes everything he says sound incredibly weird and funny. The Room is a disastrous masterpiece, a great example of how not to make a movie.
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(Images: Wikipedia)
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