Top 50 Movies of All Time: Volume 2

Since it's March, I figured I'd continue my monthly countdown of my favorite movies of all time. So here's the second volume. Again, here's the rules...

Criteria:
Personal opinions
No TV movies or mini-series
I can have two films tied, or an entire series or trilogy combined into one slot.

40. Ed Wood: One of Tim Burton's best, it follows the fascinating and oddball career of one of Hollywood's most eccentric and notorious filmmakers: Ed Wood, who is often labeled "The Worst Director of All Time". It chronicles the making of his three of his most infamous films: Glen or Glenda, Bride of the Monster, and (the "worst film ever made") Plan 9 from Outer Space. It's got a fantastic score inspired by cheap B-movies from the 50's (the films Wood was best known for) and a stellar cast, featuring Johnny Depp in one of his better performances, and Martin Landau, who is so good as Bela Lugosi, he almost becomes him. Landau was so good in the role he won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. It was definitely well-deserved.

 

39. Blade Runner: Ridley Scott's visually stunning and dark adaptation of Philip K. Dick's cult sci-fi novel, Blade Runner was a commercial and critical flop when first released in 1982, but has since gained a strong fan following and has been hailed by audiences and critics as one of the best science fictions films of all time. A moody movie that paints a dark portrait of Los Angeles in the future, it's basically a classic noir film in a sci-fi setting. The shadows, smoke-filled rooms, and characters all scream classic detective movie. Harrison Ford is cast a bit against type, as a gruff, but ultimately compassionate gumshoe detective who would be right at home in a 1940's pulp magazine. Rutger Hauer also gives a creepy performance as the film's villain Roy Batty (a fitting name for such a crazy character), a renegade robot who has come looking for his creator. A terrifying force to be reckoned with, Batty is absolutely insane and will stop at nothing to accomplish his goals, and also delivers one of the more gruesome deaths in sci-fi cinema: gauging a dude's eyes out and crushing his head in. Everything about this movie is awesome, from the acting, to the thrilling action sequences, to the multiple controversial endings, to the complex storyline, to the synthesizer score, to the amazing visuals and special effects, there's no way to not like this movie even just a little bit.



38. Who Framed Roger Rabbit: A childhood favorite of mine, it's a parody of noir mystery films, involving cartoon characters. In a world where cartoons and humans live side by side, a detective who hates cartoons must prove the innocence of a famous and slightly crazy cartoon star named Roger Rabbit, who is framed for the murder of Marvin Acme, a prank shop mogul who was having an affair with Roger's femme fatale wife. It's more for the nostalgia than anything, but you can't deny it's a timeless and very entertaining movie. It's also one of the few times that animation and live-action blend perfectly. It's also the only time you'll probably ever see Donald Duck and Daffy Duck or Mickey Mouse and Bugs Bunny together on screen, and that's pretty awesome.




37. Interview with the Vampire and Bram Stoker's Dracula (tie): I couldn't decide between these two amazing vampire movies, so I gave them both their own slot. The former is the dark and somewhat erotic adaptation of Anne Rice's Lestat book series, well, the first book. It follows Brad Pitt, who becomes a vampire in the 1700s after he is bitten by the mysterious and somewhat malicious vampire Lestat, portrayed by Tom Cruise, who surprisingly really owns the role. The whole movie is really well-done, but it's also very tense and kind of fucked up. Pitt is the narrator of the film, as he is being interviewed by a reporter played by Christian Slater, and you can tell after all the horrific shit that's happened to him over the course of his life that he's a really jaded, bitter person, and the movie portrays the world as this evil, cruel place where no one is safe. It's really messed up and bleak, but I really like it, but maybe I'm just a morbid bastard. The latter is Francisc Ford Copolla's big budget, star-studded adaptation of Bram Stoker's classic novel. Although Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves aren't good in it, they are made up for by the amazing Gary Oldman and the fantastic Anthony Hopkins, who both own their roles as Dracula (in several forms) and Van Helsing, respectively. Oldman puts on an incredible Romanian accent, and has an impressive range, going from suave and seductive to terrifying and malevolent in seconds. Hopkins is a great Van Helsing, and also puts on a convincing German accent. The visuals and special effects of this movie are pretty inventive and are astounding for the time. I can't get enough of these movies, and I definitely recommend you give them a watch around Halloween, or any time really.

 

36. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: This one is more of a nostalgic thing for me. However, it is well-acted (especially from the supporting cast of adults, which includes Maggie Smith, Kenneth Branagh, Alan Rickman, Jason Isaacs, John Cleese, Robbie Coltrane, Warwick Davis, Julie Walters, Richard Harris, Richard Griffiths, David Bradley, and Fiona Shaw) and has great special effects for 2002. This film is also a bit darker than the first film, and has more action. This is also actually the longest film in the series, which I was surprised by, because it moves at a brisk pace and feels shorter than it is. It's got a surprisingly good story and it's my personal favorite of the series.



35. Sin City: In Robert Rodriguez's incredibly detailed and visionary adaptation of Frank Miller's graphic novels, we take a journey to Basin "Sin" City, a shadowy hellhole plagued by corruption, crime, and morally ambiguous characters. With an all-star cast, heavily stylized and ultra-violent action sequences, a surreal but intriguing universe, compelling characters, a unique musical score, and groundbreaking special effects, it's no wonder this one was a box office and critical success. I love this movie and the books it's based on for the noir-esque writing and narration, the incredible action scenes, and stunning visuals. I can't wait for the long-postponed sequel scheduled to come out in August.

 

34. Trainspotting: Danny Boyle's cult hit about junkies in Scotland is a fantastic movie that I only recently watched (summer 2013), but I loved it instantly. Ewan McGregor leads a stellar cast featuring Ewen Bremner, Jonny Lee Miller, Robert Carlyle, Kevin McKidd, Kelly Macdonald, and James Cosmo. A twisted and unique film, the first half is a dark comedy about heroin addicts and sociopaths, but the second half takes a hard left turn, and becomes a disturbingly harsh and real story of what happens when you lose yourself to addiction. With a bittersweet ending and a killer soundtrack (featuring great artists like Iggy Pop, Lou Reed, David Bowie, Joy Division, and Damon Albarn), it's almost impossible not to love this film. It's highly acclaimed and loved for a good reason: it's absolutely brilliant, funny, dramatic, and very real. 



33. The Blair Witch Project: I thought this was definitely the scariest and most influential horror film of the last 20 years, and I still think it's the best found footage movie of all time. It's got this amazingly detailed and eerie backstory which was further explored in spin-off documentaries and websites, and the film itself is so raw. It's a very disorienting and distressing film, that shows the deteriorating state of mind the characters go through as they get lost in the woods and begin encountering possibly supernatural forces. This film really exemplifies the horror film principle of "what you don't see is more horrifying than what you do see". From eerie moments like the explanation of what happened to a scouting party from Blair, Maryland when they got lost in the woods; to the heartbreaking and iconic scene where one of the main characters breaks down crying on camera in the middle of the night, confessing to the camera and apologizing to her family and friends and the peers of her fellow crew members that she has accepted they will die in those woods, almost every scene in this harrowing movie is perfectly executed, and it's one of my favorite horror films of all time.



32. Batman: Although it's not the best Batman film, it was the first major Batman film to be true to the tone of the comics. Even though it's typical Tim Burton (style over substance, creepy, etc.), it really worked for the time, and it broke box office records. Michael Keaton may not be a great Bruce Wayne, I personally feel he plays it a bit too awkward and eccentric, but he's a fantastic Batman. Just his voice and the way he does it is amazing. Jack Nicholson was the best choice to play the Joker at the time, despite the fact he really just plays a more demented version of himself. Kim Basinger is a bit irritating, but she does okay. The action scenes are a bit few and far between, and are a bit awkward at times (Keaton's rubber suit looks pretty constricting), but overall it's an entertaining and faithful superhero film that's moody, darkly comical at times, stylish, and fast-paced.



31. Airplane!: This classic parody film is a bit sophomoric at times, and does feel a bit dated at certain points, but I still think it's hilarious. It's absurdist spoof humor at it's best, and the filmmakers working on parody films today should take note (I'm taking to you, Seltzerberg). A laugh-out-loud look at disaster films that were very popular in the 70's (The Towering Inferno, The Poseidon Adventure, Earthquake, etc., but in particular the Airport series). This was also the film that completely changed Leslie Nielsen's career, he shifted from serious performances to deadpan spoof comedy, and proved he was actually really good at the latter. You really can't not like this movie, it kind of appeals to everyone. It's almost timeless in a way, and it shows how great spoof movies used to be. If more modern parody films were more like this, the world would be a better place for moviegoers.

(Images: Wikipedia)

Runner-ups: American Graffiti, Tombstone, Highlander, Half Baked, Scream, Tremors, Gremlins, Singin' in the Rain, Chicago, Watchmen, Saw, Insidious, Sinister.

True Detective: Season 1 (TV Review)

Since the first season of this brand new HBO program has just wrapped up, I figured I'd take a look at this show since it's been taking the television world by storm, and has been praised by critics and audiences alike.

True Detective, Season One:
In 2012, two detectives (Gilbough and Papania) interview two older detectives separately. These older detectives (Cohle and Hart) used to be pretty close, but have drifted apart since a falling out in 2002. In 1995 in Louisiana, these two detectives supposedly caught the two men responsible for several disturbing, ritualistic killings in the Vermilion Parish. The two interviewing detectives have discovered the killer has struck again, and want to know how the same killer could kill again is he/she was caught seventeen years earlier. The two older detectives must revisit their dark pasts and struggle with their inner demons to help these detectives solve a case that has haunted them for almost twenty years.
    Like many great HBO shows, even though all the aspects are excellent, it's all about the performances. Matthew McConaughey plays Rust Cohle. He's the more dedicated of the two detectives, and it shows in that he barely interacts with his wife, and we almost only ever see him at his job. Unfortunately, this leads him to being a bit obsessed, and kind of drives him away from his friends and family. He is in fact so invested in his job he will commit crimes to be able to solve the case and catch the killer. He is also the more moral of the detectives, despite being very cynical and jaded. Woody Harrelson portrays Martin Hart, Cohle's ex-partner and former best friend. He is still on the police force, unlike Cohle who has since retired. Even though he's the Catholic one and Cohle is militantly anti-religious, he's actually the one who constantly contradicts the teachings of his faith: he's an adulterer, sometimes lies, and is amoral in other aspects. He's the even more flawed character, and even though he also wants to solve the case, he's not as willing to go as far as Cohle does. However, a redeeming quality is that he does have a strong urge to protect the innocent, especially young children (as he has two daughters himself), and becomes blinded by rage when he discovers child abuse. Michelle Monaghan plays Hart's bitter wife Maggie. As of 2012, they are divorced, and she is extremely displeased with him and Cohle. As of the 1995 timeline, he and Martin's marriage is already falling to pieces, and they are barely clinging on. Tory Kittles and Michael Potts play Detectives Thomas Papania and Maynard Gilbough, respectively. They are dedicated to solving the case, but are initially very distrusting of the two older detectives, and they are right to do so. Cohle and Hart have a sketchy history, so I wouldn't be too keen to trust them either. Kevin Dunn, Alexandra Daddario, Tess Harper, Jay O. Sanders, and Glenn Fleshler appear in smaller supporting roles. Daddario is Hart's young mistress, and she's kind of a selfish bitch. Fleshler has a very unsettling role near the end of the season, and he does an amazing job. He's an unknown actor, but he needs more work like this. All the performances are mesmerizing, but it's the two leads who really deliver the goods. I've been a fan of Harrelson and McConaughey's for some time, and this show cements their status as modern masters of the acting craft.
     Besides the acting, the series also has excellent writing. Nic Pizzolatto (the show's creator) wrote the entire season, and he's an extraordinary writer for someone who seems relatively new to television (his only experience is writing two episodes of The Killing). He pens a very dark and realistic story, and Pizzolatto also creates an intriguing character study with the two main characters and (later on in the story) briefly gives insight into the demented mind of the killer.
    The series is also (like many HBO series) very cinematic, and has beautiful cinematography and impressive sets and makeup effects (despite the latter being the least utilized of the three). We can thank Cary Joji Fukunaga (Sin Nombre, Jane Eyre) for the cinematography. He serves as an executive producer, but also directed all the episodes of the series. Much like Boardwalk Empire, Breaking Bad, and Game of Thrones, they found the perfect director for these episodes. He has a lot of talent, and this is perfectly exemplified in the fourth episode, where an entire 8-9 minute sequence is done in one continuous shot (or it's convincingly made to look like one). It's astoundingly brilliant.
    Another interesting decision was to go the route of Ryan Murphy's chilling American Horror Story, and have each season be a new story with new characters. I thought this was a great decision, as each season could focus on one mystery, and hold people's interest and build the tension, but not become like Twin Peaks (fantastic horror series, by the way) where it would lose many people's interests by stretching out the mystery too far and only last two short seasons. I also think although the decision to make it eight episodes long rather than the usual ten episodes was a bit odd, I do understand that if they added some extra padding to stretch it to ten episodes it would have felt too long and tedious in some episodes so I think eight is the perfect number, at least for this season.
       The series really gets under your skin and is genuinely horrifying in some sequences. It's an incredibly original mix of crime drama/police procedural, Southern Gothic, and surreal horror. In fact, the villains are straight out of a cult/serial killer thriller, and are disturbing, disgusting, and incredibly nasty, and are some of the most unsettling and mysterious TV serial killers I've seen.
     The show also has an absolutely fantastic soundtrack. T Bone Burnett composed the original music for the show, and it's hypnotic, creepy, and strange, a perfect fit for the tone. The "featured music" is also great, a good mix of Southern Gothic music, melancholy tunes, rock, and country. "Young Men Dead" by The Black Angels was definitely one of my favorite tracks. The opening theme, "Far From Any Road" by The Handsome Family, is a subtly eerie and moody song which fits the tone of the series: dark, bleak, and a bit depressing. I loved it, and the opening credits sequence is, like many HBO opening sequences, incredible and it shows off some of the characters and many different locations from the series, as well as showing images associated with the unique culture of Louisiana and the Southern U.S. in general.
    True Detective is a complex, powerful, poignant, and addictive crime/horror drama with deeply flawed and hypocritical, yet relatable and human characters. It has a twisted, tense, and creepy storyline, and some excellent writing, breathtaking cinematography, exceptional performances, and I can't wait to see what the creators do with season two, and I hope that McConaughey and Harrelson return as well. 5/5 stars.

Episode List:
One- "The Long, Bright Dark"
Two- "Seeing Things"
Three- "The Locked Room"
Four- "Who Goes There"
Five- "The Secret Fate of All Life"
Six- "Haunted Houses"
Seven- "After You've Gone"
Eight- "Form and Void" 

(Image: truedetective.wikia.com)

300 Movies: Faithful adaptations of Frank Miller's graphic novels

Today, I look at the stylish and fast-paced 300 films, based on the bestselling graphic novel.

300:
Based on the limited comic book series by acclaimed comic book writer Frank Miller (The Dark Knight Returns, Sin City, Daredevil: Born Again), which was inspired by the epic film The 300 Spartans, this film is a heavily stylized and fictional retelling of the Battle of Thermoplyae from the Persian Wars. King Leonidas I of Sparta in Greece decides to lead 300 Spartan warriors against a huge army of Persians when they invade Greece. Facing impossible odds, Leonidas won't back down and actually begins destroying most of the army. That makes the Persian leader King Xerxes extremely angry, and Leonidas may be in over his head, despite his many victories in battle.... Now, the graphic novel won several awards, but it was criticized by some, including beloved comic book writer Alan Moore, for being historically inaccurate. However, Miller himself has admitted historical accuracy was not his goal: it was just supposed to be a fictionalized story from the viewpoint of the Spartans, kind of like the myths and legends of that period, it was merely an extreme exaggeration of history. If you take a look at the book and the film based on that expectation, they're both extremely well done. Gerard Butler is fantastic as the extremely macho and physically strong Leonidas. He's a Spartan, so he holds physical strength and dominance above all other traits, which make him kind of unrelatable, but you also can't really help but root for him because the Persians are portrayed as ruthless conquerors. Lena Headey (Game of Thrones, Dredd, The Purge) has a supporting role as Gorgo, Leonidas' queen. She's really good in these strong female leader type roles, and this is no different. Except unlike Dredd or Game of Thrones, here she's not completely corrupt and manipulative. David Wenham portrays Dilios, a Spartan warrior who narrates the story. He has an awesome narrating voice, and he's arguably the most intelligent of the Spartans. Rodrigo Santoro has a supporting role as Xerxes, the "God-King" of Persia. An intimidating and androgynous figure, he is very mysterious and strange. He is a damn good villain, and is a lot more manipulative and powerful than Leonidas thinks. Dominic West (The Wire) portrays Theron, an entirely fictional character created for the film, who is a corrupt Spartan official who lusts for Gorgo. Andrew Tiernan has a small role as Ephialtes, a deformed and hunchbacked Spartan abandoned at birth who tries to join Leonidas' small army. Vincent Regan, Tom Wisdom, Andrew Pleavin, and Michael Fassbender (X-Men: First Class, Prometheus, 12 Years a Slave, Hunger, Shame) appear in supporting roles as loyal soldiers following Leonidas. Peter Mensah (Spartacus: Blood and Sand, Jason X) has a cameo as a Persian messenger. The cast are all really good for an action movie, and especially a comic book movie that is not Marvel or DC. Even though Marvel and DC definitely don't have a flawless record when it comes to filmography (take Howard the Duck, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, Elektra, Daredevil, Ghost Rider, Steel, Supergirl, Superman III, Superman IV, and Batman and Robin as good examples of fuck-ups), but it's usually comic book movies from other publishers that are the really bad ones. Movies like Judge Dredd, Tank Girl, Spawn, and Barbed Wire plagued 90's cinema. However, movies like Hellboy, Sin City, Dredd, and 300 have been turning that notion around. This film was a big deal as it was, like Sin City, so faithful it made sure almost every shot was exactly as the comic panel appeared in the book. The special effects were also revolutionary, and this was one of the first major movies to employ the "slow-down, then speed-up" technique used in many stylish action films. Although it's annoying now, at the time, it was really cool and unique. Even the end credits are great. It's a nice little animated sequence that recaps the events of the film. All of that is thanks to the visionary director. Zack Snyder may not be as good as Christopher Nolan or Joss Whedon, but he does know how to make an entertaining and visually stunning comic book movie. Although his disastrous film Sucker Punch almost ruined his reputation, and Man of Steel and Watchmen received lukewarm reception from both critics and fans (although I enjoyed the latter two), many forget he had a promising career start. Dawn of the Dead was hailed as one of the few horror remakes to be a worthy follow-up to the original film, and this film (300) was a box office success and received generally positive reviews from critics and audiences. This and Man of Steel are undoubtedly his best works. 300 may not be the best comic book adaptation, but it's entertaining as hell, as well as exhilarating and pretty epic for a movie that's not even two hours. Despite historical inaccuracy, it makes up for it with unique and eye-popping visuals, heavily stylized and innovative action sequences, some surprisingly good acting, a well-penned script, and buckets of blood. 4/5 stars.

300- Rise of an Empire:
In Athens, Greece, the citizens receive word of Persia's threat towards Sparta and Leonidas' plan to attack. An intelligent military leader named Themistocles suggests all of Greece unite against Persia, but many are not in favor, especially the aggressive and arrogant Spartans, who value their city-state over all others. Themistocles is able to get a pretty large naval fleet comprised of many smaller Greek fleets to battle against Xerxes and his manipulative naval commander Artemisia. Based on Xerxes, Frank Miller's work-in-progress which has yet to be released despite being worked on for years. Despite being a bit weaker than the original, this one still delivers. Sullivan Stapleton (Strike Back, Animal Kingdom) plays Themistocles. He is a great warrior and tactician, but he is more relatable than Leonidas because, as an Athenian, he values strength and might, but even more so values intelligence and human life. He and his friends also aren't as brutal or cold as the Spartans could be. Eva Green plays Artemisia, the main antagonist. She's good in the role, and gets to play a ruthless, violent, and psychotic bitch who kills anyone in her way of victory. She plays these femme fatale roles really well, as most of her major roles (Vesper Lynd in Casino Royale, the witch in Dark Shadows) are similar to this. Rodrigo Santoro, David Wenham, Lena Headey, Andrew Pleavin, and Andrew Tiernan return from the first film in their respective roles as Xerxes, Dilios, Queen Gorgo, Daxos, and Ephialtes the Hunchback. Santoro still has a prominent role, but everyone else's are heavily downplayed, because the Spartans are no longer the focus, and also probably because Headey was busy with Game of Thrones, although she does serve as the film's narrator, similar to Wenham's narration of the previous movie. Peter Mensah again appears, this time not only as the Persian messenger, but also as Artemisia's trainer. Ben Turner has a supporting role as General Artaphernes of Athens. Gerard Butler and Michael Fassbender appear in flashback scenes, which are basically recycled footage from the original film. The cast are, again, surprisingly really good for an action movie and it was cool to see more about Xerxes' past and to see more relatable heroes and a villainess you can hate, but also empathize with. I also thought it was a cool decision to shift the location from the land to the sea and get to see some naval combat. This story is actually not really a prequel or a sequel to 300. The first 20 minutes take place before the first film, and the last 20 minutes take place a little bit after, but a good chunk of the main plot takes place concurrently with the original, so it's like a prequel/midquel/sequel. This was an interesting choice, and it definitely works. Some stuff I was happy to see was the return of the awesome end credits animation sequence, and also the return of those "Immortals", the creepy reptilian/goblin Persians with the samurai-like masks, even though this time they don't show their deformed faces. I was also really pleased with the amazing action sequences, despite being a bit too heavy on CGI, especially when it came to the fake-looking computer-animated blood. I understand it was part of the visual style, but at least make it look a little better. By the way, just a warning to sensitive readers: it is extremely bloody (even if it does look fake), so people who aren't gore fans should probably stay away. 300: Rise of an Empire is a worthy follow-up, and it's a visually appealing and fun popcorn movie which will satisfy fans of the original. 3.5/5 stars.

 (Images: Wikipedia)

Double Review: The Monuments Men and Non-Stop

Today, I look at two films from last month: George Clooney's historical drama The Monuments Men and the Liam Neeson action-thriller vehicle Non-Stop.

The Monuments Men:
During World War II, Hitler hatched a plot to steal some of the world's most valuable artwork and store it in a planned Fuhrer Museum. The U.S. dispatched a team of men nicknamed "The Monuments Men", a group of inexperienced, middle-aged and elderly men: architects, painters, historians, sculptors, etc. They must brave the horrors and dangers of WWII in order to retrieve the artwork, which is stored in bunkers and underground storage units all over Europe, not because they're paintings, but they represent our culture and everything that the Allies were fighting for at the time: freedom for the people in Europe who were living under fascist dictators, a freedom the Axis Powers sought to destroy and replace with totalitarianism. Now, this movie is a bit disappointed if you were looking for something on the scale of Saving Private Ryan, Empire of the Sun, Schindler's List, or Band of Brothers (funny, all of those are Steven Spielberg projects). However, it was pretty entertaining. George Clooney directs and stars. I've been pretty satisfied with Clooney's other directorial projects, particularly the excellent Good Night and Good Luck and the provocative The Ides of March. This film doesn't quite measure up to those movies in quality or effectiveness, but that doesn't mean it wasn't good. The film has a solid cast, featuring not only Clooney, but Matt Damon, Bill Murray, John Goodman, Jean Dujardin, Bob Balaban, Cate Blanchett, and Hugh Bonneville. It also has lesser-known actors like Sam Hazeldine and Dimitri Leonidas is supporting roles. The cast are really great, and have excellent chemistry. The "Monuments Men" actually split up into separate little duos, which all worked perfectly: Bill Murray and Bob Balaban, John Goodman and Jean Dujardin, George Clooney and Hugh Bonneville (with Dimitri Leonidas tagging along as well), and Matt Damon and Cate Blanchett. They all have great chemistry, and I think having each little duo go on their own mission and then regroup later on helped the film not get cluttered with too many characters on screen at one time. The music by Alexandre Desplat may be a bit bland, but it perfectly fits the overall tone of the movie. Speaking of which, it was a surprisingly lighthearted movie with little bloodshed, despite it taking place during WWII. There were darker moments, too, but overall it was a lot more comedic than I expected. I actually enjoyed most of the humor, but it just felt a little... well, strange and out-of-place for a movie taking place during a violent and destructive war. However, it didn't ruin the movie experience at all. Just a little more with the negative here before the positive: you can predict some character deaths a scene or so before they happen, which is never good because then you as an audience member are not surprised and shocked by a tragic death, you're just sort of disinterested or disappointed. The film, being about two hours long, can feel a bit slow at some parts, and then too fast-paced in others, they never found the right balance. Plus, if you're fans of longer war films like Patton, The Great Escape, Lawrence of Arabia, Saving Private Ryan, Apocalypse Now, etc., this may feel far too short for an epic WWII tale. Another thing that always bothers me about most movies set during WWII, and this movie is no exception: whenever they show Adolf Hitler, it's very brief and he never speaks on screen. Why is that? Do they think they can't capture the character right? Because Inglorious Basterds and Downfall had him speak (hell, in Downfall he's the main character), and they did a fine job. Now for the more positive stuff: the movie had some pretty cool action scenes, albeit very brief ones, including a cool little shoot-out scene in an abandoned town between Goodman and Dujardin and a German sniper. The film also had great shooting locations, and it was pretty historically accurate. It kind of makes me want to the read the book the film is based on to fact-check it. The cinematography was impressive, and Clooney in my opinion is kind of like Ben Affleck in that they're decent actors, but excellent directors, in fact, they should do way more directing. The Monuments Men is an interesting historical dramady which has a great cast, some surprisingly good writing, a decent enough score, cool cinematography, fantastic shooting locations, and a talented director to bring it all together. It may not be the most poignant or emotionally stirring thing Clooney's done thus far, but it's pretty damn good for what it is. 3/5 stars


Non-Stop:
Alcoholic air marshal Bill Marks boards a flight to London. He gets on board disguised as an average passenger, and only the flight crew know his true identity. He begins receiving text messages from a passenger aboard the plane. The mystery messenger begins claiming he will kill a random passenger every 20 minutes unless he is paid $150 million via a transfer to an account. Marks realizes he's not playing around when he reveals he knows all about Marks' past and current life. Marks must now stop the mysterious murderer from killing innocent passengers and sabotaging the entire flight, but that may be a far more difficult task than he was expecting. I was surprised by how entertaining this movie actually was. I thought that it was going to be an extremely dumb, extremely boring action vehicle like some of Liam Neeson's other recent projects, but it was pretty good. Neeson basically plays the same guy as in every movie, in fact, for the rest of this review, I won't refer to him by his character name, just as Liam Neeson. He's just this bad-ass, jaded, gruff older guy who just fucks up anyone who gets in his way. I'm convinced that's just how Liam Neeson is in real-life, just this older guy who happens to be extremely good at fighting, shooting, and hunting down and killing bad guys. Besides Neeson, the film actually has a pretty good cast: Julianne Moore, Michelle Dockery (Downton Abbey), Nate Parker, Linus Roache (Law & Order: SVU, Batman Begins), Scoot McNairy (Killing Them Softly, Monsters, Promised Land, 12 Years a Slave), Lupita N'yongo (the recent Oscar winner from 12 Years a Slave), Corey Stoll (Midnight in Paris, House of Cards), Anson Mount (Hell on Wheels, Tully), Omar Metwally, and model Bar Paly. Even though it's just a popcorn movie, I can't help but criticize some elements: at certain points in the film, it seems like Liam Neeson's being a dick just to be a dick. His aggressiveness and bluntness in certain scenes is unnecessary. The film's villain also has an unclear motive. I'm not saying all villains need a motive, in fact, in some films it's scarier when they don't (The Dark Knight, The Devil's Rejects, A Clockwork Orange, American Psycho, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre), but when your villain clearly has a motive of some kind, but it's not really explained exactly what it is, it's not very satisfying. The villain's plan also heavily relies on things just sort of working themselves out. There's no way the plan would have worked unless he was psychic and could predict exactly what Liam Neeson would do at what time. Also, the whole climax was cool, but it wasn't very realistic or believable by any stretch or the imagination. But it's a movie, so there's always going to be flaws. The positives are that the cast are actually really good for a dumb fun action movie, especially Neeson and Moore, who have great chemistry. The film also does a good job of keeping you guessing until the very end as to who is the killer. The film is also pretty intense in certain areas, and even a bit touching (especially in one scene where Neeson gives this speech about his tragic and dark past to the entire plane). Non-Stop is a good movie to watch with a group of friends. It's fun, explosive, and exciting, and although it's not nearly as good as Taken, or even Darkman and The Grey, it's also not nearly as bad as Unknown or Taken 2. 3.5/5 stars

 

Top 10 WTF Moments of 2013 (and early 2014): One final countdown list before we get too far into the year....

The last top (insert number here) list of 2013 I'll do, sorry for the huge delay. I go over some of the most shocking and crazy moments in pop culture, particularly in movies, TV, and video games.

Criteria:
Unpredictable and surprising
Stuff from January-March 2014 can count

By the way, SPOILER ALERT!

10. The Last of Us ending

The Moment: In the closing sequence in this emotionally grueling and epic video game, our antihero Joel must save his companion and sort of foster daughter Ellie from death by a group of radical, paramilitary survivalist called "Fireflies". The thing is... Joel is technically the bad guy here. Even though I was glad he saved Ellie at the end of the day, he dooms mankind because it's revealed early on the reason the Fireflies needed Ellie is that she is a miracle: someone immune to the zombie/fungi virus that has collapsed society in the last 20 years, and that they may extract a cure from her. The only thing: she could die during the extraction procedure... and Joel, who has grown protective of her, won't have it. In the end, he kills all Fireflies and rescues Ellie, only to lie to her and tell her they've given up on the cure and that it was probably not going to work anyway. When she makes him promise to be honest, and asks if he was telling her the truth, he responds "Yeah." She says "Okay." and the game ends, leaving it open for a sequel.

The Reaction: This ending was controversial, and for obvious reasons: it's kind of a dark and selfish move for Joel to make, and it's sort of a sudden ending for such an amazing game. However, it also perfectly fits the tone of the story, and it also will become a major plot point in the sequel that will probably happen in the next few years, which I'll definitely buy.

 (Image: Wikipedia)


9. Sherlock Series Three Finale (A Villain's Surprise Return)

The Moment: At the end of the satisfying conclusion to yet another great season of BBC's detective series Sherlock, Sherlock Holmes has parted ways with John Watson and his buddies for the mean-time to head to a foreign country as punishment for murdering the season's villain: Charles Augustus Magnussen. As soon as his jet departs, you hear the theme song start up, only to immediately cut to a London pub, where a soccer game is interrupting by something. We don't see what the interference is yet, but everyone in the pub appears shocked and confused. In fact, Sherlock is immediately called back by his older brother Mycroft before he even leaves London airspace, who reveals he has evaded punishment yet again, as he is needed for something urgent. We now see that every frequency in London has been hacked, and every screen in the city shows the same video clip on a loop: Jim Moriarty (Sherlock's psychotic nemesis, who committed suicide in the series two finale) staring into the camera saying "Did you miss me?"

The Reaction: I'm not quite sure how may others were as shocked as I am, but I must say it took me completely by surprise. I'm now extremely excited to see Moriarty make a return in the fourth series, which is slated to come out within the next year. At least I hope so, so I don't have to wait two years.
 (Image: Wikipedia)


8. Family Guy kills Brian, then resurrects him

The Moment: In the controversial episode "Life of Brian", the lovable pet dog is run over by a car and tragically dies in the hospital, giving a loving speech to his owners/family before passing away. When fan backlash, threats of boycotting, and threatening messages towards show staff became too much, the episode "Christmas Guy" had Stewie travel back through time to prevent his death. Seth MacFarlane, the show's creator and voice of many main characters (including Brian), thanked fans for showing so much compassion for their beloved character.

The Reaction: The moment spawned obvious fan backlash and criticism of the show, and the staff ultimately brought him back. Although Brian's death was a bad decision (even though it was well-executed), an even worse decision was not only to replace him with a different dog, but then completely destroy the emotional impact of Brian's death by just easily resurrecting him. I feel like it was a cheap cop-out, although I understand why they did it. But I think they could have waited at least a few more episodes before bringing him back. But that's just my opinion.

 (Image: Wikipedia)

7. Bad casting decisions for Man of Steel 2/Batman vs. Superman

The Moments and Reactions: After Ben Affleck was cast as Bruce Wayne/Batman back in early September, fans and casual viewers alike (myself included) expressed hatred for the idea that "Batfleck" would be appearing in cinemas in 2015 (now 2016). But he grew on us, just a little bit, over time. Maybe he won't be so bad. Then, Gal Gadot, the beautiful model/actress from Fast & Furious, was cast as Wonder Woman. Now Gadot may be gorgeous, but she's... just not right for the part. She's not, I guess, bulky enough. I'm not saying Wonder Woman should be a body-builder, but many people suggested Gina Carano (a model/actress/martial artist who also appeared in the Fast & Furious franchise) would be good because she's good-looking and physically strong. However, Gadot stated she was working out for the role, so people's hatred died down. Then Jesse Eisenberg was cast as Lex Luthor.... what the fuck?! He's just so wrong for the part, it's insane! Nothing about his looks, personality, or filmography suggest he can pull off Lex. Maybe Bryan Cranston. I mean, when I heard he was rumored as being Lex Luthor, I was kind of upset, even though I love him on Breaking Bad, he doesn't seem right for the part. But he would be thousands of times better than Eisenberg! It's not that I dislike Eisenberg (although I thought he was really irritating in Now You See Me), but he's just bad for the role, and apparently, from what I've seen, many people agree with me.

 (Image: schmoesknow.com)


6. The Walking Dead Season Four Mid-Season Finale

The Moment: In the jaw-dropping and exhilarating mid-season finale of this season of the excellent zombie apocalypse show, The Governor (the show's psychotic and extremely amoral, violent, and charismatic villain for the past season, played by David Morrisey) confronts Rick (played by Andrew Lincoln) and his group, having taken Hershel (Scott Wilson), one of the more likeable characters, and the bad-ass Michonne (Danai Gurira) as his hostages. Now commanding a group of military families, who are armed with assault rifles and a tank, whom he has manipulated by killing their older leaders without their knowledge and convincing them Rick's group are evil raiders and killers, he threatens Rick's group to let them have the prison or die. Rick tries to reason with him, but The Governor ends up just killing Hershel with Michonne's samurai sword, and all hell breaks loose. The tank destroys entire cell blocks of the penitentiary, the group barely escapes with their lives and limbs and they're scattered all over the place, the prison is overrun with zombies (or "walkers", which I always thought was a dumb nickname), The Governor's group mostly all die (except a few who run off never to be seen again), and there are even closer calls: The Governor and Rick get into an all-out fist-fight, which results in Rick being beaten to near death, before Michonne stabs The Governor through the chest with her sword, and then the Governor's current girlfriend shoots him in the head as he bleeds out, effectively killing the bastard; Daryl and Tyreese barely hold their own against the endless onslaught of zombies and the Governor's ex-military killers, and narrowly escape; and the ending makes it appear as though Rick's baby Judith has been ripped apart by zombies.

The Reaction: I myself was on the edge of my seat for this entire climax, and I was pretty upset that Hershel was murdered. Many other fans were also deeply frustrated with his death, and the group getting scattered, although the brutal death of The Governor made up for it. I was extremely satisfied with the mid-season finale, as were many others, even though it was extremely shocking and absolutely insane.

 (Image: Wikipedia)


5. Indiana Jones sold to Disney

The Moment: Finally, all of LucasFilm's major properties have been sold to Walt Disney Studios. After Star Wars and other LucasFilm properties were sold to Disney in late 2012, I was very upset. Although Disney had potential to make good decision with the franchise, they squandered any hope by having C3-PO and R2-D2 make a "funny" cameo on a Disney channel sitcom, and shutting down LucasArts, thus ending the Star Wars 13-13 project, which looked incredible. This year, Disney acquired the rights to the Indy franchise.

The Reaction: I'm not sure how other people reacted to this, but I can say from my perspective that I dread what the studio has planned with Indy after what they've done with Star Wars. Hopefully, it won't be so bad...hopefully.
 (Image: Wikipedia)


4. Breaking Bad's finale and ending sequence

The Moment: In the pulse-pounding, endearing, and extremely satisfying conclusion to Vince Gilligan's cultural phenomenon/crime drama, titled "Felina", Walter White masterminds one final crime: to get revenge on those who have hurt him and the ones he loves. After the murder of his DEA brother-in-law Hank by the white supremacist mercenary Jack and his psychotic nephew Todd, who were teamed with White's corrupt former business partner Lydia, Walter not only poisons Lydia with ricin and leaves her to slowly die, but also uses a makeshift contraption containing a high-powered assault rifle in the trunk of his car, to kill Todd and Jack's entire gang, then he personally shoots the wounded Jack in the head, and Jesse (Walt's protégé who was held captive by the gang for months, and was tortured until he cooked meth for them) strangles Todd to death. Jesse then parts ways with Walter for good, and Walt succumbs to a bullet wound he suffered during the massacre, thus ending his life and legacy as the drug lord Heisenberg, and tying up all the loose ends in his life.

The Reaction: This epic conclusion exploded all over the Internet, many (myself included) raving about how great it was, one of the few television finales that lives up to the hype. I really enjoyed this finale, even though I wanted to see more of Walter interacting with Jesse and Walt Jr., but ultimately I couldn't get enough of this final episode, and neither could anyone else. However, it was shocking due to the somewhat over-the-top nature of it all and the fact that it was unexpectedly awesome.

 (Image: breakingbad.wikia.com)

 3. Iron Man 3 pisses off a fanbase

The Moment: Everything up until the mid-point of the film was great. Then it was revealed Ben Kingsley's awesome and threatening Mandarin was merely an actor/decoy, and became a laughable, oafish comic relief character. Guy Pearce's Aldrich Killian turns out to be the real Mandarin as he created the persona as a cover for his Extremis project.

The Reaction: Even though the explanation for the twist makes sense, it kind of diminishes the coolness of The Mandarin, as in the comics he is the ultimate bad guy, and Kingsley captured the essence of the Mandarin character perfectly for those first 50-60 minutes. Many fans were pissed and for excellent reasons: it's absolute bullshit and it really cheats the audience. Still a good movie, but that move, for a lot of people, was unforgiveable.

 (Images: Wikipedia)

2. Star Trek-Into Darkness has a surprise villain

The Moment: In the half-way point of J.J. Abrams' cool science fiction film, the mysterious and highly skilled rogue Starfleet agent John Harrison, is actually revealed to be the 300-year-old super solider Khan Noonien Singh, the arch-villain from the classic television and film series. Shit suddenly got serious.

The Reaction: Quite a few people, including myself, were taken aback by this. Sure, fan-boys had debated over whether or not Harrison was Khan on the Internet for months, but I dismissed it as one of those dumb rumors that floats around. The fan-boys rejoiced when they discovered Harrison's true identity, and gloriously proclaimed that they were right all along. I was shocked, but also really excited when it was revealed that Khan was the film's villain. It was a pleasant surprise. Unfortunately, the description of the plot on the back of the DVD gives away Khan's identity immediately, so for those who got it spoiled by the fucking DVD cover, I apologize.

 (Image: villains.wikia.com)

Honorable mentions:

Deborah Morgan's death on Dexter (and the disappointing finale)

Matthew's death on Downton Abbey

Miley Cyrus at the VMAs (not a move, TV, or video game moment, but still worth a mention)
Ylvis' comedic viral video "The Fox" (or "What Does The Fox Say?", again, more of an Internet phenomenon, but definitely memorable)

1. The Red Wedding on Game of Thrones

The Moment: In the ninth episode of season three ("The Rains of Castamere"), the entirety of House Stark's army, including their heroic leaders Robb Stark and his mother Catelyn, as well as Robb's pet direwolf and his pregnant wife Talisa, are savagely slaughtered at a wedding. It's such a traumatizing, graphic, and horrific scene, especially since it's very unlikely that House Stark (now in exile) will ever get revenge on the parties responsible: the treacherous Houses Frey and Bolton, and the villainous House Lannister.

The Reaction: Die-hard fans and casual viewers alike were shocked and mortified at the absolute bleakness and horror of this single event. It's such a tragic and abrupt end to a great storyline, and the fact that some of the most best characters of the series die in such brutal ways is the icing on this cake. There are compilations on YouTube of people's varied reactions to this episode, often resulting in screaming, expletives, gasping, and crying. Yeah, it's that bad.

 (Image: thedailybeast.com)

Game of Thrones: Season 3 (TV Review)

Today, I review the latest season of HBO's fantastic and cinematic series Game of Thrones. With the fourth season approaching (April 6, I've marked the date), I had time to re-watch some episodes of the dark and shocking third season that left many fans traumatized and very upset by it's final episode. It's not that it was disappointing, far from it, it's just that this has to be the craziest, bloodiest, and most unpredictable season of the series so far, and that's saying something. It had a slow build, but those last few episodes, they made the season great. It also continued the GOT tradition of having the ninth episode be the season's incredible climax, and this was the most jaw-dropping of them all.
(WARNING: Spoilers for season two below.)

Game of Thrones, Season Three:
The War of the Five Kings rages on. After the disastrous Battle of Blackwater Bay, Stannis Baratheon has retreated to his fortress of Dragonstone with his red priestess Melisandre, and his colleague Davos Seaworth soon follows. Renly Baratheon has been killed, and now his forces, including the Tyrells, have shifted their allegiances not to Stannis, but to (shockingly) King Joffrey in King's Landing. Margaery Tyrell is now betrothed to Joffrey, and Cersei fears the Tyrells may be getting a little too comfortable in King's Landing. Theon Greyjoy's forces betrayed him, and now he is being held and inhumanely tortured by a mysterious sadist in a dark dungeon. House Greyjoy has also been busy wreaking havoc across the North while Robb Stark's forces march South towards the Riverlands. Robb Stark must deal with the repercussions of marrying Talisa for love, thus breaking his betrothal vow to the powerful House Frey, and severing their alliance. Catelyn Stark also must deal with some backlash, as Robb holds her as prisoner for letting go their most valuable prisoner: Jaime Lannister. Brienne of Tarth, fulfilling a promise she made to Catelyn, now must escort the nearly unrecognizable Kingslayer back to King's Landing, while avoiding bounty hunters and killers who wish to take Jaime's head back to Robb for a reward. Daenerys continues to raise her army in the continent of Essos, and begins to liberate the people of slave trade cities across the coast. Her dragons continue to grow, becoming more valuable but also more dangerous by the day. Jon Snow, now having been captured by wildlings, must join them and follow their new leader: the "King-Beyond-the-Wall" Mance Rayder, an ex-Night's Watch brother who leads the wildlings South to invade Westeros. Jon is torn between his loyalties to his lover and friend Ygritte, a wilding woman, and his duties to the Night's Watch. But a bigger threat is looming: White Walkers are returning in droves, and their army of wights (super-strong and endurable zombies which only can be killed by fire) follows close behind, there's little hope for Westeros once they arrive at the Wall. The War of the Five Kings may be the focus of many characters' attentions, but the real war hasn't even begun.
      Of course, I can't talk about this season without discussing the huge cast of characters. First, House Stark: The numbers of the this pack, initially the heart of the show, are dwindling, and they've been separated and spread out so far throughout the Seven Kingdoms, they're barely even a house any more. Richard Madden reprises his role as the heroic Robb Stark. This season, due to the stress of the war, Robb is a little more harsh and stern. However, he's still the same strong military leader that we've come to know and love. You really root for him this season, as he's in a bit of a precarious situation as of this time, losing a lot of his soldiers day by day, but you want him to succeed because you want to see him get vengeance on Joffrey and the Lannisters for killing his bad-ass dad Ned Stark. Catelyn Stark, played by Michelle Fairley, is a little more unraveled this time around. She's incredibly stressed because her son distrusts her, she has no idea what's happening with her daughter in King's Landing, she thinks her two sons Bran and Rickon are dead, and she feels like she's caused all this to befall her family as bad karma for something she did in the past (she reveals in a touching and revealing conversation with Talisa that she always felt bad for hating on Jon Snow, and not accepting him and loving him like her own, even though it's not his fault he's a bastard son). This makes us relate to her more and want her to succeed and set the wrong things right. Jon Snow, portrayed by Kit Harington, is also in a tough position this season. He is very torn about his loyalties, as he could live a pleasant life with his wildling girlfriend Ygritte, as they really love each other and have great chemistry, but he also feels obligated to return to his Night's Watch brothers. He also must not reveal he feels at al torn about loyalties, or his new wildling friends may have to kill him. Arya Stark played by Maisie Williams, proves herself to be even more tough and brave than I previously thought. She's able to speak her mind openly and isn't afraid to stand up to people who are far more powerful and more dangerous than she is. She also continues to add names to her already lengthy revenge list, and I can't wait to see her just go to town on the people who have wronged her and her family. Sansa Stark, portrayed by Sophie Turner, is still annoying oblivious to the events around her and it's irritating how easily she's manipulated by people. However, you can't help but feel bad for her, as Joffrey (and others) continues to torment her during her captivity at King's Landing, and she's constantly let down and manipulated by people around her, her life is just a mess right now. Isaac Hempstead-Wright returns as Bran, who is going through kind of a spiritual change in this season, as he discovers he may have an amazing power. He's really maturing as a character, and a character who I once found annoying I now look forward to seeing progress in his story. Rickon Stark, played by Art Parkinson, is a sweet and free-spirited child, one of the few characters that's truly innocent. Natalia Tena and Kristian Nairn portray Osha and Hodor, respectively, Bran's companions and personal servants who accompany him and Rickon as they hide in the countryside from enemy soldiers and other dangerous foes. Brienne of Tarth, played by Gwendoline Christie, is still stuck escorting Jaime Lannister across the countryside, still sticking by the promise she made to Catelyn. She must be on her toes at all times, seeing as Jaime is one of the most dangerous men in Westeros. We learn a little more about her, and see her more compassionate side, and all see her get more defensive when Jaime insults and belittles her. Jojen and Meera Reed, portrayed by Thomas Brodie-Sangster and Ellie Kendrick, respectively, are a mysterious brother-sister duo who accompany Bran and his group as they travel around the countryside. Jojen begins to teach Bran about new ideas and helps Bran find new powers within himself, suggesting Jojen is wise beyond his years. Meera is a strong tomboyish type, with hunting skills and a high intellect for her age. They are shown as close siblings (though not in the way Cersei and Jaime are), and are able to survive on their own in a world as cruel and dangerous as Westeros is, which is pretty damn impressive. John Stahl guest-stars as Lord Rickard Karstark, a loyal bannerman of House Stark who joins Robb Stark's fight against the Lannisters, especially after Jaime Lannister murdered his son.
      Now for House Baratheon, first, the Dragonstone faction: Stannis Baratheon, once again portrayed by Stephen Dillane, is shown to be a little more compassionate this time around, especially when it comes to his daughter and family in general, but he's still kind of a cold-hearted asshole when it comes to pretty much anything else, especially matters concerning the Iron Throne and how to get to it. He's a little too gullible, though, I feel like Melisandre has him wrapped around her finger and has accomplished that way too easily. Stannis doesn't seem like the kind of guy who just succumbs to an entire new religion and ideology, and basically doesn't do anything without consulting some woman he's known for like a year, no matter how badly he wants the crown. Davos Seaworth, aka "The Onion Knight", played by Liam Cunningham, is now Stannis' least-trusted friend. Trying to always do the honorable thing, Davos is constantly contradicting Stannis and his beloved Melisandre, and disobeys them at every turn. I fear that he may be trying his luck a little too much. What makes his character even more tragic is that literally no one trusts him, and he has now lost his son Matthos is Stannis and Melisandre's desperate quest for the throne (Matthos was killed during the Battle of Blackwater Bay). Melisandre, aka "The Red Woman", portrayed by Carice van Houten, is still as creepy and manipulative as before, now even more so after the Blackwater Bay catastrophe. She is constantly whispering nonsense in Stannis' ear, which she herself believes, being a delusional religious zealot. She just gets under my skin, and I actually kind of want to see her kick the bucket in the next season or so. Salladhor Saan, played by guest-star Lucian Msamati, makes a reappearance in the season premiere after surviving the Blackwater Bay Battle, still sticking by his old friend Davos. Stannis' queen Selsye, portrayed by guest-actress Tara Fitzgerald, a delusional woman who also believes in Melisandre's "Lord of Light", appears in the episode "Kissed by Fire". Kerry Ingram appears as Stannis' sweet and innocent daughter Shireen, who is close with her father and Ser Davos, and likes to read, and must stay indoors constantly because Stannis fears many will be repulsed by her appearance (as a young child she suffered from a rare skin condition which now leaves permanent scale-like scars on the side of her face).
     Now onto the King's Landing faction; now that the Highgarden faction has been disbanded and many of those followers have moved over to this faction, I won't count it any longer (Side note: If you've paid attention to the show at all, you can basically see that the King Landing's faction is now just an unconvincing cover for House Lannister): King Joffrey "Baratheon" (he's really just a Lannister), played by Jack Gleeson, continues to cement his status as one of the most despicable and pathetic little shitheads ever portrayed by any actor in any art form (stage, screen, etc.) He's just the worst. He continually proves himself as not only a poor ruler, but one of the worst kings in the history of Westeros, and what makes it even more awful: he shouldn't even be on the throne, seeing as how he has no claim to it (which even he is unaware of). He also continually shows himself to be sadistic, detestable, malicious, and disgustingly violent, I mean he just relishes and savors every moment he gets to inflict pain and suffering on others, and gleefully ruins the lives of his subjects and his "loved ones". He's also a whiny, cowardly, weak little bitch, who fled the Battle of Blackwater Bay before it even really began, after bragging about how he would fight off the hordes himself, and of course he took all the credit away from Tyrion and Tywin, you know, the people who won the battle for him! God, he's such a piece of shit that I can't wait for someone (possibly Arya or Sansa) to hack off his head and stick it on a pike or something. Again, nothing against Jack Gleeson, I've seen interviews with him and he seems like a perfectly nice guy and from what I've heard from watching interviews with the cast he's awesome to work with. In fact, the contrast between Jack and Joffrey is probably a testament to his acting abilities. Queen Regent Cersei Lannister-Baratheon, portrayed by Lena Headey, is still, like I've said many times, a selfish, manipulative, crazy bitch. She's barely clinging onto her power, and feels threatened by the sudden and noticeable presence of the powerful Tyrell family in King's Landing. Margaery Tyrell, played by Natalie Dormer, is now betrothed to Joffrey, and begins to seduce and manipulate him using small sexual advances and subtly playing to his more morbid and sadistic side, among other things. Cersei feels threatened by her presence, as she sort of causes a rift between Cersei and Joffrey. Lady Olenna Tyrell, also known as the "Queen of Thorns", portrayed by Dame Diana Rigg, is one of the best new characters this season. Every scene she's in is awesome. Rigg is an experience actress, and she really breathes life into this role. She's highly intelligent, sarcastic, a bit cynical, and the proud matriarch of the Tyrell clan. Ser Loras Tyrell, aka "the Knight of the Flowers", played by Finn Jones, is now in the service of the Baratheons of King's Landing (really just the Lannisters), and is one of the best knights in the land of Westeros. He is still a bit dumb compared to his sister and grandmother, but is actually a pretty cool supporting character, who is still slightly sad after the death of his lover and friend Renly Baratheon. Ser Meryn Trant, portrayed by Ian Beattie, continues to prove himself a loyal knight, which isn't a good thing when your master is King Joffrey. He's not at all valiant or noble like a knight should be, he's one of those "just following orders" types, despite the fact that the orders he carries out are unnecessarily violent and/or cruel. Julian Glover guest-stars once more as the elderly Grand Maester Pycelle, the corrupt, but loyal religious advisor in King's Landing. He's just an unlikeable, weaselly little asshole.
    Onto the King's Small Council: Lord Petyr Baelish ("Littlefinger"), played by Aidan Gillen, continues being a devious and masterful manipulator of politics. He shows how ruthless he can be in this season, one moment in the sixth episode in particular sticks out. I despise the character, but much like Joffrey, he's a fascinating character to watch work, so I always enjoy the scenes he's in. Lord Varys ("The Spider"), portrayed by Conleth Hill, is yet another master manipulator and all-around great character. The more light-hearted of the two, he respects Littlefinger, but also deeply fears him, as Littlefinger is the more dangerous of the duo. The scenes and conversations they share are some of the best moments of the season, and show how excellent these two actors are at breathing life into their characters. Varys also gets some sweet revenge in one episode, which is unsettling to watch, but when you think it through, you kind of side with Varys. Esme Bianco appears as the recurring character Ros, a prostitute in Littlefinger's brothel and one of his employees who deals with his personal matters. She is also working as Varys' informant, something that puts her at risk, and could end her life if Littlefinger found her out. Will Tudor has a minor role as Olyver, a spy and prostitute who is employed by Littlefinger. A smart and savvy man, he also specializes in homosexual clients.
    Now for House Lannister: Tyrion Lannister, played by the great Peter Dinklage, is in a spot of trouble this season. After an attempt on his life by a knight, he has a scar across his face, and he's a bit paranoid, and believes someone is plotting against him in King's Landing, and he may well be right. Now that he's no longer Hand of the King, and all of his allies (save for Bronn and Shae) were paid to leave by Lord Tywin, he has little power or influence in the King's Small Council. Dinklage really owns the role, and shows a more serious side to Tyrion, one that I was surprised by, considering that in season one he was more of a comical, light-hearted character, even though he was serious at times during that season, too.  Tywin Lannister, portrayed by Charles Dance, is now Hand of the King, and a powerful figure in King's Landing once more. Tywin continues to prove himself a more villainous and cold character with each passing episode. Tywin's got this presence that makes every scene he's in feel tense and awkwardly still, because all the characters either respect or fear him, or both. He's such a powerful figure in Westeros that no one has the balls to stand up to him, which is probably a smart move on their part. Ser Jaime Lannister, the "Kingslayer", played by Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, shows us a lighter side this season. After being such a despicable and unlikeable piece of shit these past two seasons, it was a breath of fresh air to see him as more of a good guy this time around, albeit still violent and jaded. I commend the writers and Coster-Waldau for being able to pull off such a challenging character 180, taking a character I (and many other viewers) hated, and making us root for him and empathize with him. Ser Bronn, portrayed by Jerome Flynn, is still such a bad-ass. He's cool, collected, cynical, and a highly skilled assassin and fighter. Shae, played by Sibel Kekilli, is Tyrion's lover. She's a complex character, but is compassionate and takes care of Sansa while she's captive at King's Landing. Despite being a great character, her presence in King's Landing complicates matters and puts her and Tyrion's lives in danger. Podrick Payne, portrayed by guest-star Daniel Portman, is still serving as Tyrion's friendly squire, the one who saved Tyrion's life at the Blackwater Bay Battle, who discovers he has a knack for being an amazing lover. (Tyrion discovers this when he finds out prostitutes he bought as a reward for Podrick enjoyed him so much they gave him his money back.)
     Now for House Targaryen: Daenerys "Stormborn" Targaryen, played by Emilia Clarke, is continuing to be a strong leader for her people, and begins liberating slave trade cities to gather followers and make a good name for herself, aside from the fact that it's the just thing to do. Ser Jorah Mormont, portrayed by Iain Glen, is still a bad-ass warrior and loyal servant to Daenerys. Secretly he's infatuated with her, and therefore does everything in his power to make her happy and serve her well. Nathalie Emmanuel plays Missandei, who debuts early in the season. A slave girl and translator, Daenerys respects her and uses her as her personal assistant and advisor. She's an excellent and welcome new addition to the already vast and amazing cast. After an absence in season two, the disgraced Ser Barristan Selmy, portrayed by Ian McElhinney, returns after being abruptly and unfairly dismissed by King Joffrey after the arrest of Ned Stark. Respected by his peers (including Ned Stark and Jaime Lannister), he is a great knight who pledges allegiance to Daenerys after saving her life, and vows to help her retake her rightful place of the Iron Throne. Grey Worm, played by Jacob Anderson, is an Unsullied warrior (a member of Daenerys' newly acquired army), who is fiercely loyal to his khalisee and does everything to please and protect his new mistress. Daario Naharis, portrayed by Ed Skrein, is a new addition to Daenerys' entourage, a Tyroshi warrior who is a mercenary in the group "Second Sons". A stealthy and highly-skilled killer, he's a useful new character.
    Now for House Tully: Lord Edmure Tully, played by Tobias Menzies, is Catelyn's little brother. The black sheep of the Tully clan, he's constantly trying to prove himself, but constantly gets in over his head. Although his family loves him, there's plenty of moments where they face-palm because of the time when Edmure fucks up a simple task. Ser Brynden "Blackfish" Tully, portrayed by Clive Russell, is Catelyn and Edmure's uncle, and a great soldier. He's strong, gruff, and protective of his family, especially Catelyn.
    Onto House Bolton: Lord Roose Bolton, played by Michael McElhatton, is a close ally of Robb Stark's and his lieutenant. He's sent his bastard son to capture Theon. Locke, portrayed by guest-star Noah Taylor, is a cruel and violent mercenary in the employ of House Bolton who unapologetically maims and torments Jaime Lannister, and threatens and assaults Brienne. Steelshanks, played by Jamie Michie, is one of Locke's henchmen who helps him escort Jaime to Harrenhal, which is now one of the bases of House Bolton and House Stark after Ser Gregor abandoned it. Gary Lightbody, lead singer of the band Snow Patrol, makes a cameo in the third episode "Walk of Punishment", in which he portrays a Bolton soldier leading his colleagues in singing the popular Westerosi folk tune "The Bear and the Maiden Fair" while they ride down a forested road. Now onto House Frey: Walder Frey, portrayed by guest-star David Bradley, is still a disgusting, nasty-ass creep who secludes himself in his castle/fortress The Twins. His young, miserable wife Joyeuse Erenford, played by Kelly Long, also makes a reappearance in the latter half of the season. Coldplay drummer Will Champion makes a cameo as a drummer in Frey's services during a festive feast in the episode "The Rains of Castamere".
    Now for House Greyjoy: Theon Greyjoy, portrayed by Alfie Allen, is held captive by a mysterious stranger for the entire season. After his evil actions in season two, you might say he deserves it. However, I wouldn't wish the torture he undergoes upon my worst enemy, poor Theon goes through the wringer this time. What makes it more tragic is that he actually has a change of heart, saying it was the biggest mistake he ever made to betray the Starks, and that Balon may be his dad, but his "real father" was Ned Stark. It's a touching scene that makes you empathize with him, despite his many wrong-doings. His father and sister, Balon and Yara Greyjoy, played by Patrick Malahide and Gemma Whelan, respectively, appears in the season finale. His dad is still a bitter, miserable old bastard, whereas his sister Yara is still a bad-ass who is loyal to her younger brother.
    Onto the Night's Watch: Sam Tarly, portrayed by John Bradley, is still lovable and funny, and he's getting stronger, as he learns to defend himself against all sorts of threats. Lord Commander Jeor Mormont, played by James Cosmo, is still a great character, despite his role being slightly toned down. He's a wise and skilled warrior, and is one of the better and more noble Night's Watchmen. Rast, portrayed by Luke Barnes, is a violent and amoral Night's Watch brother who has been a thorn in Jon Snow's side since season one. Pypar, played by Josef Atlin, reappears in the final episode of the season, still residing at Castle Black. Grenn, portrayed by Mark Stanley, is on the scouting troupe with Jon Snow and Jeor Mormont, and has been friends with Jon, Sam, and Pypar since the first season. Maester Aemon Targaryen, played by Peter Vaughn, appears in the season finale at Castle Black. Eddison Tollett, portrayed by Ben Crompton, is a ranger on the Night's Watch who is an acquaintance of Sam. Burn Gorman (Torchwood, Pacific Rim, The Dark Knight Rises, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia) appears as Karl, an aggressive Night's Watch brother who is an ally of Rast.
    Now for the wildling clan: Ygritte, played by Rose Leslie, is trying to get closer to Jon Snow, and teach him to adapt to the wildling way of life. The casting of Ygritte was perfect, Leslie really pulls off the wild, tough girl role, and she and Kit Harington have great chemistry together. The episode "The Climb" also exhibits how strong their relationship is, as they must brave an hours-long, incredibly dangerous climb up a 700-foot ice wall. Tormund Giantsbane, portrayed by Kristofer Hivju, is a gruff, fierce wildling warrior and a lieutenant in Mance Rayder's army. Like Ygritte, he takes a liking to Jon Snow, but doesn't keep it a secret that if Jon tries to stab them in the back, he'll brutally slay him. Orell, played by Mackenzie Crook (The Office, Pirates of the Caribbean), is a warg (a telepath who can control a specific type of animal) and a wildling who is slimy and takes an immediate dislike, in fact, almost a hatred, for Jon Snow. He and Jon are at each other's throats the entire season, and every scene between them is intense, especially in the episodes "The Climb" and "The Rains of Castamere", the latter of which shows them finally confront one another. Mance Rayder, portrayed by Ciaran Hinds, is the leader of the wildlings and the King-Beyond-The-Wall. He's an ex-Night's Watch Ranger, and therefore a huge threat to the Seven Kingdoms. His plan is to climb over The Wall, and attack the poorly protected Castle Black, and then invade the North. He has a strong moral code, despite being a the leader of a pack of feral hunters and killers, and he takes a liking to the noble Jon Snow. Edward Dogliani returns as the fearsome Lord of Bones, a notorious raider who wears the bones of his enemies on his clothing, he appears in the season premiere.
     Now for the Brotherhood Without Banners (a group mentioned frequently in season two by Gregor Clegane's men): Thoros of Myr, played by Paul Kaye, is a Red Priest and a follower of the Lord of Light, the same religion Melisandre follows. He is a devout man, and is unshaken by any criticism of his beliefs. He and his friends are led by Lord Beric Dondarrion (last seen in "A Golden Crown" being sent on a mission by Ned Stark to take down Gregor Clegane), portrayed by Richard Dormer, another faithful man who is a skilled fighter and one of the founders of the Brotherhood. He has no fear of death, as he is technically immortal, and is physically scarred from his many run-ins with death. Anguy, played by Philip McGinley, is a skilled archer who is a good friend and close colleague of Beric and Thoros.
    Now for the Seconds Sons: Besides Daario Naharis, there are two other leaders of this mercenary group: Captain Mero, or the Titan's Bastard, portrayed by Mark Killeen, a Braavosi warrior who is rude to Daenerys, cunning, and violent; and Prendahl na Ghezn, played by Ramon Tikaram, a Ghiscari and a leader of the company, who is also rude and mean-spirited towards Daenerys.
     Finally, for the miscellaneous characters, or those with no true affiliation: Gendry, portrayed by Joe Dempsie, is now accompanying Arya and Hot Pie around the Riverlands, and decides to try and join up with the BWB after they come across them. He shows off his blacksmith skills with them, and is taken under their wing. Gendry is still tough and strong-willed, but he's shown to be a little more gullible and naïve this season, especially when it comes to dealing with a certain Red Priestess. Hot Pie, played by Ben Hawkey, is also still joining Arya on her quest to rejoin with her mother and brother in the Riverlands. Sandor "The Hound" Clegane, portrayed by Rory McCann, after abandoning his duties as Joffrey's bodyguard during the Battle of Blackwater Bay, is now a lone wolf travelling across the countryside, fending for himself. Although he's still a cold-blooded killer and a viscous fighter, he shows a more compassionate, almost fatherly side towards the latter half of the season, of course still maintaining his cold demeanor while doing it. Qyburn, played by Anton Lesser, is an ex-hostage of Gregor Clegane who resides at Harrenhal. An old experimental scientist and medicine man, he has a vast knowledge of medical practices and befriends Jaime Lannister and Brienne of Tarth during their stay there. Kraznys mo Nakloz, portrayed by Dan Hildebrand, is a cruel and incredible rude and vulgar slave trader whom Daenerys must deal with when buying her Unsullied warriors. He's powerful, corrupt, rich, and nefarious, but he gets his comeuppance, which is very satisfying to see. Robert Pugh reprises his role as Craster, the cruel, volatile, and incestuous wildling who runs a small village mostly populated by his miserable daughters. Hannah Murray once again appears as Gilly, Craster's innocent daughter and the object of Sam's affection, whom he frees from her horrible life under Craster's roof. She's sweet and lovable, much like Sam himself, and they make a great pairing. Ramsay Snow, played by Iwan Rheon (Misfits), is a cruel, gleefully sadistic, mentally unstable liar and the mysterious man who is tormenting poor Theon Greyjoy. It's not really a spoiler giving away his name, even though they don't reveal his name until the season finale, if you were closely paying attention to the latter episodes of season two, they do allude to the fact it might be him. However, I won't reveal which house he's allied with, you'll just have to wait and see fro yourself. What I will say is that Ramsay is definitely one of the most despicable, creepy, and inhumanely savage characters the series as seen thus far, on par with King Joffrey or Gregor Clegane. He's just so unsettling to watch, and every scene he's in is tense and terrifying, and you can't help but hold your breath when he shows up in Theon's cell, as you know something really awful is about to happen to the poor young Greyjoy. That's pretty much all the major, supporting, and minor characters in the third season. It always astounds me just how many characters are in this series.
   This season somehow was able to top the first two seasons as far as the dark tone goes. Although this season isn't quite as violent as the second season (in particular, not much comes close to the horrors of Harrenhal from the second half of the second season), it's the last two episodes (well, the ninth episode and opening scene of the tenth) that make this season the most disturbing and graphic of them all, as well as the most shocking season.
     As far as new locations go, there's not much. We revisit The Twins in the Riverlands, which is reminiscent of English and Irish castles from the medieval era, surrounded by foggy marshlands and rivers. We now go to the Slave Cities of Essos, which are very reminiscent of the Middle-East, Egypt, and in some cases India, very sandy, with lots of clear blue oceans, and a very tropical feel, with palm trees and a blazing sun. We get to see more of the lands Beyond-The-Wall, which are very cold, covered with snow, and it all looks very miserable and bleak. The title sequences now has some new features. Even though I'm aware it changes from episode-to-episode depending on what locations the episode takes place in, the major changes I'm discussing are the addition of Slaver's Bay and the new details done to Winterfell: it's got thick black smoke seeping from every orifice and opening, as it was raided and sacked in the finale of the previous season.
     The music this season is as incredible as in previous ones (props to Ramin Djawadi), and in particular I enjoyed the dark and moody piece "The Rains of Castamere". Although The National recorded a version for the second season's soundtrack, it's a bigger part of this season, obviously, as an episode was named after it; it even got chosen as the music to play over the Blu-ray menu. It tells the story of The Reynes of Castamare, one of the vassal houses of House Lannister. When the Reynes attempted to take over Casterly Rock, Tywin Lannister strategically killed off the entire family, including theirs heirs and children, and hung their bodies in front of Casterly Rock to rot over the summer, as an example of what happens when you fuck with the Lannister clan. The lyrics refer to the sigils of both houses: the Reynes, a crimson lion, and the Lannisters, a golden lion. The title is also a pun on the family name, now that the Reynes are dead, when "the rains weep" on the rotting remains of Castamere castle, no one is left to hear it. The fictitious event is immortalized in this Westeros folk song, which is actually plays a key role this season. It's so dark and brooding, it sets the mood for the whole season. Another great musical piece from this season is "The Bear and the Maiden Fair", a folk song popular in Westeros, particularly among Locke and his company of Bolton soldiers, who sing the song several times over the course of the season. Brooklyn-based indie rock band The Hold Steady recorded a fast-paced, punk-rock version of the song which is heard during the end credits of the episode "Walk of Punishment". Both versions are good, and the one heard within the world of Westeros itself is cool because it sounds like something people from the medieval era might actually sing: it's a ballad following the story of the conflict between a young and beautiful virgin and a monstrous bear.
      Like previous seasons, this one has a recurring theme or motif, one that I believe is pretty apparent is that of matrimony and marriage, it plays a major role in the latter episodes of the season, and there's a special feature on the Blu-ray dedicated to the role marriage plays is the world of Westeros. This previous season also has many character changes: Dany is a stronger leader, Jaime is more relatable and heroic, Catelyn is regretful about her past with Jon Snow, Theon regrets betraying Robb Stark, Bran discovers he has mystical powers, etc.
      The special effects this season are equally as amazing as they were in previous seasons: the growing dragons are well-animated for a TV show, even one on a premium network, and the sets and costumes are intricately detailed and incredibly expensive. Everything about them is great.
   Game of Thrones: Season Three is a bit slow, but it ultimately has a great payoff, well, I guess it's a "payoff" of sorts. This is definitely better than the second. Not saying the second season was bad, it was actually really fantastic, however, it was a bit weaker than the first and the third. However, with all it's strengths, the third season doesn't quite measure up to the first season, but I'm still convinced the reason I love the first season so much is because of Ned Stark. However, season three is definitely entertaining, and is a fantastical and bold examination of the human journey, even though it's still a fantasy series. I'm really looking forward to the faster-paced and even more dramatic fourth season coming out this April, and I'll try to review that one episode-by-episode if possible, but I'll probably just do an over-all review of it at the end, although I may do small updates here and there throughout the season if anything really dramatic happens. Anyway, I definitely recommend you buy this season, and the previous two ones, on Blu-ray and watch them immediately. If not... you're missing out! 5/5 stars.

Episode List:
One- "Valar Dohaeris"
Two- "Dark Wings, Dark Words"
Three- "Walk of Punishment"
Four- "And Now His Watch Is Ended"
Five- "Kissed by Fire"
Six- "The Climb"
Seven- "The Bear and the Maiden Fair"
Eight- "Second Sons"
Nine- "The Rains of Castamere"
Ten- "Mhysa" 

(SPOILERS BELOW POSTER)

 (Image: gameofthrones.wikia.com)



SPOILER SEGMENT: Seriously, this will spoil the most shocking moment in the series thus far, so don't read ahead unless you really are dying to know, and if you do so, you might regret it afterwards: In the ninth episode, "The Rains of Castamere", Robb Stark must grovel before the Freys and ask that his uncle, Edmure Tully, take his place in marrying one of Walder Frey's daughters, as Robb broke a sacred vow that said he would do so. Frey agrees, and they host a wedding at The Twins. During the ceremony, Edmure, who was reluctant to marry one of Frey's ugly daughters, discovers that Roslin Frey is actually beautiful, and is overjoyed. Everything seems to be going well, and finally, Robb, Catelyn, and Talisa let their guards down and start celebrating along with the Freys and the Tullys. Robb and Talisa even discuss their future together and the possibility of naming their son after Ned Stark. However, after the ceremony and celebratory feast/after-party winds down, Catelyn Stark begins noticing some strange things, such as "Black" Walder Frey (one of Walder's grandsons) closing the doors to the main hall, that none of the Freys (and even Robb's lieutenant Lord Roose Bolton) aren't drinking wine like the Starks and Tullys are, and that Robb's direwolf Greywind has been locked inside a horse pen outside. Even stranger, after playing upbeat folk songs the whole night, Frey's musicians suddenly begin playing the dark opening tune to "The Rains of Castamere". Catelyn is visibly upset by this, but Robb and his pregnant wife Talisa are none the wiser. Suddenly, Walder stands up and calls for a toast to his new queen Talisa. He says he hasn't offered them "the hospitality they deserve". Catelyn looks at the eerily calm Roose, who uses his eyes to motion for her to look at his sleeve. She lifts up his sleeve to see he is wearing armor underneath, and she realizes he has betrayed them and the whole wedding was a trap. He gives her a shit-eating smirk before she abruptly slaps him and stands up, attempting to warn Robb, who is standing in the middle of the hall. She calls out to him, and he takes a second to notice her pleas for him, but it is far too late. Suddenly, one of Frey's grandsons pulls a dagger from under his clothes and sneaks up behind Talisa, stabbing her in the gut several times, and throwing her to the ground, letting her and her unborn son bleed out. Robb is shocked and appalled, but before he can react, the musicians and other Frey men on the balcony above stand up, firing several crossbow arrows his way, hitting him, Catelyn, and several Stark men. Roose Bolton has now vanished from sight, and Walder Frey now smirks evilly as he sees the carnage unfold before him. More Frey guards rush into the hall, and Arya Stark (who has just arrived at The Twins), is taken away by Sandor Clegane, who saves her from the massacre. However, Arya unfortunately sees Frey men slaughter several Stark men outside, as well as several archers slaughter Greywind while he is trying to break out of his pen. Catelyn, who is badly wounded, hides under a table as Frey men slay the rest of the Starks and Tullys left inside. She sees Frey's young wife, sitting terrified under a table, and grabs a dagger from a dead body. Robb, bleeding profusely, weeps over the corpse of his pregnant wife, and Frey stands up, signaling an end to the massacre, and the Freys stop killing, realizing only two Starks are left. Frey openly mocks Robb as he struggles to stand up, as he is in extreme pain from the crossbows stuck inside every part of his body. Catelyn rushes out from under the table, seizing Frey's wife and holding a knife to her throat. She uselessly pleads that she be taken hostage, and Robb be set free or she will kill Frey's wife. Frey simply says he will "get another", and Robb mumbles to his mother, who turns around, seeing her son pale and bloodied, standing amidst dozens of Frey men. Suddenly, the traitor Roose Bolton appears with a dagger, and whispers into Robb's ear "The Lannisters send their regards", before stabbing him through the chest, finally killing the "King Who Lost the North". Catelyn, now in utter shock and despair, cries out in agony as she slays Frey's young wife and sits there, dead silent for a few moments. Black Walder creeps up behind her, and slashes her throat. She is still despondent, and simply lets herself bleed out, and falls out of frame, before the screen cuts to black, and the credits roll with no musical accompaniment. At the beginning of the tenth and final episode, it shows the aftermath. The Frey soldiers destroy the Starks' entire encampment of soldiers, gruesomely murdering all of them via dismemberment, hanging, burning, etc. Robb's entire army is now completely destroyed, the very few survivors now on the run or held as hostages. As Arya and the Hound leave the horrific scene disguised as Frey bannermen, Arya sees the Frey soldiers commit one final act of desecration to Robb's body: they mutilate it by beheading Robb, as well as Greywind, and sewing the loyal direwolf's head onto Robb's arrow-riddled body, parading it around on horseback and mockingly crying out "Here comes the King of the North! King of the North! King of the North!" It's gut-wrenching to watch. This scene, collectively known as "The Red Wedding", is so brutally violent and utterly traumatizing and shocking (as it kills off some main heroes and beloved characters, and effectively ends a popular storyline in a very controversial way), that you can look up a slew of YouTube videos which are just people's horrified reactions to the scene. It's one of those scenes that leaves you speechless for like ten minutes, and leaves you obsessing over it for the rest of the day, or several days even. It's hard to swallow and accept, but it also shows why the series is so inventive, it breaks traditions and conventions, and completely throws you for a loop when it comes to where storylines will go and how they conclude, and which characters will live and which will die. Hopefully, we get some resolution in the fourth season, and hopefully Arya Stark gets some sweet revenge. (END OF SPOILERS)