Lights Out and Star Trek- Beyond: July's most most mediocre offerings

Today, I look at the horror film Lights Out and the sci-fi adventure Star Trek: Beyond, in an almost pointless game of catch-up due to my ridiculous hiatus I've been taking as of late.

Lights Out:
After a number of strange and frightening occurrences, two siblings (one a 20-something punk rock girl and the other her pretty bland younger brother) begin to fear that their mother has slipped off the deep end and there is a paranormal entity hiding in the shadows of their homes, stalking them as prey and puppeting their unstable mother along.
    David F. Sandberg, a Swedish director, helms this directorial debut which was inspired by his low-budget but still effective and charmingly simple short of the same name he produced in 2013. I think it shows in this final product which has a paper-thin, predictable plot which was a little too reminiscent of The Ring at times (a film I only recently saw and felt was grossly overrated).
    Teresa Palmer was a forgettable and cardboard cutout lead character. I haven't seen much of Palmer's work but I'm sure she's fine in other things, just here she was nothing special. Alexander DiPersia was the standard supportive horror boyfriend character and Gabriel Bateman came across as a low-rent Ty Simpkins from Insidious. Bateman wasn't anything more or less expected from the genre. Maria Bello was probably better than most of the cast as the on-edge mother character though her psychosis came off as more irritating than scary. Alicia Vela-Bailey (who's gorgeous in real life, funny enough) carried a certain presence with her during her screen time as Diana, so she was the highlight of the film. Lotta Losten (the star of the original short and the director's wife) makes a cameo in the opening scene echoing the original short.
    The plot felt too brisk and repetitive, and ultimately it was just that: a run-of-the-mill genre piece that will be forgotten within a year just with an added gimmick of the "the villain only exists in the dark" plot point. They do play with that concept pretty cleverly a few times, like the use of black lights, but I felt the movie didn't deliver enough story or substance to make me enjoy those moments as much as I could have.
    Now, while I mentioned The Ring was a very overrated movie, I appreciated the visual style of the film and persistent sense of unease and dread that purveyed the film up until the somewhat mediocre climax. For Lights Out, rather than sitting in fear of the next scare, I was bored, awaiting the next cued "Boo!" moment.
    Lights Out is not a very promising directorial effort from Sandberg, which is disappointing after the hype of the short film, with bland and run-of-the-mill characters, too many conventions and not enough originality, and a misunderstanding of what made the original short scary. (For a breakdown of that, see this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPRppNlfaX8) 4.5/5 stars.




Star Trek, Beyond:
Some time into their five-year mission, the crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise's boredom with the minutia and repetition of their day-to-day routines is interrupted when they become stranded by a strange alien attack, leading them to become separated on a mostly vacant alien world, only populated by a group of rogue creatures who have a vendetta against Starfleet.
    The first of these films to not be helmed by J.J. Abrams (who of course have moved on to Star Wars), it is instead directed by Justin Lin, known for his work on the Fast and the Furious franchise, and written by Doug Jung and cast member Simon Pegg.
    Feeling a lot more like an episode of the original show and with enough wink-winks and subtle continuity nods to make even the most hardcore fanboy's head spin, this is probably the most goofy and bland of these new films, and my least favorite, but it is by no means a bad film. It's not the best the summer had to offer, but very far from the worst.
    The cast are still very comfortable in their roles, and the bittersweet feeling of seeing Anton Yelchin on screen for the last time made me more partial to the film (one scene near the end feature a framing on Anton in the center of the frame and a line about "absent friends" that's almost chilling
considering the film was in post-production at the time of his tragic death).
    Idris Elba played a pretty bland bad guy, which was unfortunate for such a skilled actor, and one with experience in playing cold, calculating baddies (anywhere from Luther on Luther, to Stringer Bell on The Wire, to Charles Miner on The Office).  Sofia Boutella has a nice role as the supporting as the scavenger Jaylah. Joe Taslim and Lydia Wilson also appear.
    Leonard Nimoy and Yelchin are given heartwarming little tributes on this film, and they will be sorely missed in upcoming adaptations.
    The unveiling of Sulu as gay was not supported by George Takei himself and I felt it was an unnecessary PC addage to diversify an already incredibly diverse cast of characters.
    The music choices in the film felt appropriate and one final sequence set to a popular song from a previous entry was clever and fun. Ultimately, despite a few clever set-ups, most of the action had little to set it apart from the constant stream of blockbusters recently.
    Star Trek Beyond is essentially an average episode of the original series stretched out to feature length, and is a decent summer outing, but nothing more. It felt somewhat empty, so it made me sad it would be the final film of Yelchin's career. 6/10 stars.

                                                     (Images: Wikipedia)

10 Cloverfield Lane: A terrific psychological thriller that was almost ruined by marketing and rewrites

Today, in an immensely delayed review, I look at the spiritual sequel to 2008's found footage hit 10 Cloverfield Lane.

10 Cloverfield Lane:
After an argument with her boyfriend, a Louisianan woman named Michelle drives into the countryside looking to escape. After she is involved in an intense car accident, she awakes to find herself the unwilling inhabitant of an underground bunker, created and ruled with an iron fist by the mysterious Howard. She is joined by fellow inhabitant Emmett, and soon the survivalist Howard explains that there has been some unexplained attack which has resulted in apocalyptic conditions outside, so no one can leave the bunker. But as tensions rise among the three and Michele desires a way out, they find that whatever lies for them outside may be better than staying.
    The basis for this film was an micro-budget script titled The Cellar. I think this is incredibly apparent in that the connections to the Cloverfield franchise are incredibly loose and don't even come into play until well into the third act. I would have almost preferred it just be its own film as opposed to tying it to a nearly decade-old found footage film, but then again, in this depressing state of Hollywood it probably wouldn't have gotten a quality studio treatment without being tied to some pre-existing property.
    Mary Elizabeth Winstead makes for an impressive leading lady, and she is definitely undervalued and it is a shame she seems to exclusively get shoved into genre pieces. John Gallagher, Jr. is also strong as her male companion Emmett, whose presence in the bunker seems to put Howard in a bit of a mood for some reason. He is an effective romantic interest and very likable character for the little we get to know of him. Bradley Cooper has a nice voice cameo near the beginning, and Suzanne Cryer also cameos.
    The final member of the cast and the shining star of this film is John Goodman. Good God, the transformation of one of the most lovable actors in Hollywood into a threatening and domineering screen presence is remarkable. Every moment he's on screen and every piece of dialogue is dripped with tension, as literally almost anything could set his hair-trigger temper off. Not that he doesn't get moments that humanize him a bit, but his character ultimately comes off more pitiful and sad than sympathetic, in direct opposition to Goodman's usual Teddy Bear appeal.
    The film really was a solid and tense psychological thriller, and incredibly well-done and paced bottle story (i.e. story set in a single location with a small cast) as well as mystery. The last 15 minutes almost ruin the entire movie, as that is when they shove in the unnecessary "tie" to Cloverfield, and honestly I thought of two places exactly where they could have cut to black and I would've been totally satisfied and even impressed (i.e. right after a character leaves a location and discovers something about the outside world, or right after this same character sees an object in the distance and says "You've got to be kidding me," you'll know what I'm talking about as soon as you finish the film).
    Overall, this is a terrifically tense movie that succeeded in getting me invested into its not entirely unique but still intriguing premise, though I would recommend just turning it off before the climax totally drops the ball (you'll know exactly what I'm talking about). Maybe a fan edit will be created one day (hopefully). 6.5/10 stars.

                                          (Image: Wikipedia)

Star Wars: The Force Awakens- Perfect example of when hype kills a film

Yesterday, I got to see highly anticipated seventh installment in the revolutionary Star Wars franchise.

Star Wars Episode VII, The Force Awakens:
Since the fall of the Galactic Empire in the original trilogy, Luke Skywalker has retired from his Jedi teaching and gone into hiding. The main heroes have scattered and from the ruins of the Empire has risen the smaller but still mighty First Order, the last remnants of Empire loyalists. To fight this, the Rebel Alliance has evolved into The Resistance to fend off the growing influence of this Order. On the desert planet of Jakku, a scavenger named Rey meets a defective stormtrooper named Finn, who together embark on a journey to join the Resistance to find Luke and defeat the First Order.
    In all honesty, I wasn't all that excited when I saw the first teaser trailer last year, as I knew it was coming and it was too far away to be pumped about. But by the time the final trailer rolled out two months ago, I was aboard the hype train like everyone else, eager to see what new breath of fresh air J.J. Abrams could bring to the franchise, perhaps restoring the tarnished reputation left by the prequels. When I saw the film last night, surrounding by drooling fans, I found myself suddenly worried about the film, as anyone would be. When the opening crawl appeared, with John Williams' iconic symphony score rousing at full volume, it was surreal. I was seeing a new Star Wars film-- in a movie theater-- on opening night. Then the opening crawl started. Sure, it seemed like Star Wars type text, but the font seemed a bit off, and the crawl assumed the audience knew about the planets already, but I tried to remind myself that the opening crawl of the originals was kind of basic, too, so I just tried to settle down.
    I won't delve into the plot at all (obviously, at least not in this post), but I will say that the story of this was an extreme disappointment. There were at least three major points where I instantly predicted exactly what was about to happen. This was mostly due to the fact that the film was a good 80% fan service. My particular audience ate this up, clapping and cheering blindly merely because they recognize characters from previous films. They even left pauses in the film for the applause. The audience I had seemed to have drunken the collective Disney Kool-Aid before entering because during the previews, which at my theater were all for other Disney-licensed films, they ate everything up, even cheering for The Jungle Book trailer and howling with laughter at the Zootopia trailer, which featured nothing but one joke about how sloths are notoriously slow. I felt like the last sane person in the place, "Am I the only person who can watch things objectively anymore?" The row ahead of my group was full of these fanboys who wouldn't stop rubbing their hands together, eagerly awaiting the next big applause moment when they see something they recognize from previous films.
    There was one key character reveal I felt happened far too early in the film and would've been better saved for later. The humor in the film was very grating, Joss Whedon-style humor. I feel like for some reason, people think summer blockbusters need to be either very dark or very funny, no matter how inappropriate either of those things seem for the film. So now Star Wars is packed in with Marvel movie-style jokes in nearly every minute. But that just doesn't feel at all Star Wars to me and I feel it is the thing that will date the movie, as that is just a hip cinema trend right now. If they had restricted themselves to a select few jokes and fan service bits (because some definitely worked better than others), then the film would be better for it by far.
    The film lacks a personality of its' own, being a near carbon copy of the basic structure of the original Star Wars, with all of the chemistry and uniqueness sucked away. The main cast were fine actors, but the new actors definitely didn't mesh with the old all that well, especially when the old were so busy delivering fan service it was hard for them to just be invested in the action. A lot of the character relationships feel forced, and while Star Wars wasn't the most depthful film in terms of character arcs, the relationships still felt pretty organic and natural, where here they feel like "Oh, we need the old characters to like these new characters because that's the way it needs to be." There seemed like too many main heroes, to the point where, like in the prequels, it's hard to pinpoint who exactly is our main character, whose is the journey we are following. There are too many character being juggled for a film of this length and scope and too many cameos and too many people cast on name recognition or because they are in popular films and television shows who wind up barely being in the film at all.
    The storyline takes far too many hints from the original film, including the main base of the villains, and the three antagonists of this film: General Hux, Kylo Ren, and Supreme Leader Snoke all feel a little too close to Grand Moff Tarkin, Darth Vader, and Emperor Palpatine to really be seen as new characters, though they have minimal changes. Kylo Ren is the villain we spend the most time with, and he is also the least threatening. The trailer smartly left in little footage of him, making him feel mysterious and imposing. In the finished film, his intimidation factor quickly diminishes after the first act, and his entire character motivation actually makes you empathize with him more than fear him, and see him as a tragic villain. Remember, it took three films for Darth Vader to reach the status of tragic villain. We're on film number one and already Ren has had an entire fucking character arc. Where does he even go from here? Look, it's perfectly fine for a main hero to have a shift in character by the end of a film, even if part of a larger story (Hell, Han Solo had that in the original film), but the antagonist, someone we should fear and distrust, should not become mostly empathetic by the end of the first part in a trilogy, especially in a simplistic adventure story like this. The planets featured in this film seem to just be renamed versions of planets we've visited in other films just for the sake of appearing original, when this is just as transparent as the plastic packaging of the toys this movie was created to sell (C-3PO literally is given a red arm so they can have a joke where 3PO mentions it and so they can sell new toys of it). The story also lacks a clear goal. Every film in the original trilogy has a clear and concise goal for our heroes, even if they got sidetracked by other things along the way. These motivations were always clearly explained in the crawl. Star Wars: rescue Princess Leia and blow up Death Star, The Empire Strikes Back: Luke complete Jedi training and Rebels escape Empire, Return of the Jedi: rescue Han Solo and defeat Empire. Even the prequels has fairly clear goals for the heroes, The Phantom Menace: stop Trade Federation from blockading Naboo, Attack of the Clones: investigate Clone Army and stop Separatists, Revenge of the Sith: stop remaining Separatists and investigate Palpatine. In this film, the goal seems to be to find Luke, but then new plotlines appear and suddenly they become the main goal, and then it goes back to finding Luke, leaving the film feeling very unfocused.
    The Galactic Empire always had the Nazi imagery prevalent in its' depiction, but here, the imagery feels ridiculously overt. Much like everything else in this film, the charming simplicity of the originals is confused by the writers for excusing beating people over the head with expositions and blatant dialogue. The First Order's symbol also looks oddly reminiscent of the Red Hot Chili Peppers logo.
    The mere existence of this film also kind of denotes the happy ending of the original films, and therefore sort of destroys the whole point of the original films. By presenting this idea that the Empire/Sith will always exist in some form kind of makes the Rebellion/Jedi's triumph over them seem pyrrhic and tragically unimportant. Even the title "The Force Awakens" kind of belittles the entire idea of the Force. Now instead of an ever-present force of spiritual energy that anyone can tap into at any time, it is this weird force that comes and goes in intensity depending on the time period. It has to "awaken" when the time is right.
    The entire Expanded Universe was scrapped because of this film, something that make me angry considering all the great source material in that EU. They did keep some basic plot elements from later books and comics, but overall retcon that entire line of stories, which creates this odd sort of alternate timeline deal in the Star Wars Universe.
    The special effects were excellent, particularly in the choice to have mostly practical effects. The only problem is this oftentime clashes with the more obviously CGI effects. The action sequences were a mixed bag. Rather than building to a large battle at the climax like the original trilogy films always did, with minimal action placed carefully throughout, this film has a lot of smaller action set-pieces, with no big finish that leaves the climax feeling a bit empty. The X-wing battle against Starkiller base (which you see in the trailer, so that's not a spoiler) felt all too familiar and just felt lazy, with no emotional impact whatsoever. The lightsaber duel ditched the flashy and unbelievable acrobatics of the prequels for the more down-to-earth, blunt force approach of the originals, which feels more raw and powerful, so there's a big positive. However, the lightsaber duel lacks the emotional backing that the original duels had. Every lightsaber duel, no matter how brief or awkwardly choreographed, meant something big in the originals. Obi-Wan vs. Darth Vader in the original film signified the end of their entire relationship together, and further cemented Vader's place as a ruthless bad-ass who cuts down his own former friend and master in cold blood. Luke vs. Darth in the second film again cemented Vader as a force to be reckoned with, and showed Luke was not nearly prepared enough to take on a Sith master, and culminated in the biggest and probably most famous twist ending in modern pop culture. Luke vs. Darth in the third and final film shows Luke has grown and mastered his skills, but is still challenged by temptations towards using anger and hatred to win fights, and showed Luke's strength in prevailing over the Dark Side, both in physically defeating Darth, and refusing the Emperor's offer to kill Vader and take his place. Here, it is just bland heroes fight bland villain at end of bland movie for slight resolution.
    There is a completely bullshit cliffhanger ending that will disappoint viewers, leaving you wanting more. While some (reviewer Chris Stuckmann, for example) might see this as a positive, I can't say I do. When you leave the theater unsatisfied with the film you got because of a TV show-esque cliffhanger, that's not good filmmaking, that's sacrificing the strength of your story to franchise build (something Disney has gotten really good at with Marvel, and is trying to poison Star Wars with now as well). But, in the same token, there's very little mystery left for the next two films. In trying to satisfy all the abundant fan theories and get those out of the way, the writers and producers seem to have played most of their cards at once, leaving themselves written into a corner for the next two film.
    Star Wars: The Force Awakens is a fine blockbuster film. But that's just it. It feels all too similar to other blockbusters (particularly Guardians of the Galaxy, whose tone should not be that of this film), and lacks the creative magic that made the originals so profound. J.J. Abrams seemed to be caught up in being a fan directing a movie franchise he loves and trying to satisfy other fans like him that he forgot to just a make a good movie, instead trying to pander to fanboys and the Marvel and Pixar-loving masses. It is now oversaturated in the new Disney style, and is just a cash-cow of a film with mild entertainment value. It is almost worse than the prequels in a way, as at least those were so bad they were funny; this is just kind of vanilla. The intense hype is having a similar effect to The Phantom Menace: people are going into denial and saying its' one of the best of the Star Wars movies, but in a few years they'll realize it's not all that great and it will be a fun movie for everyone to rip on. I guess my greatest problem is that it just doesn't feel like a Star Wars movie, even less so than the prequels. After only one film, with all its' fanservice and insane amount of ad tie-ins, I'm kind of over this franchise, just like I'm over all Disney licensed products. I don't wish to see two more of these films from equally under-qualified fan directors (not to knock them for being bad or anything, just not for this type of film). Don't believe the hype. Go in with lowered expectations and you'll probably enjoy it more. Try to avoid crowded theaters with fanboys, as their incessant cheering and clapping at every event in the film became unbearable and frustrating. 6.5/10 stars.


                                                                (Image: Wikipedia)

Note: I miss the Drew Struzan posters.

Selma and Chappie: Two films I wanted to see in theaters and didn't get the chance

Today, I quickly recap two films I saw a while back on a plane ride home from Ireland in July.

Chappie:
Neil Blomkamp's follow-up to Elysium continues his trend of trying to recapture the spirit of his freshman effort District 9 but continuing to disappoint. While I didn't hate it like most people, many scenes that are obviously supposed to be taken seriously come off as laughable. And there are characters the film wants us to sympathize with that are entirely unsympathetic. Hugh Jackman's villainous character feels the most human and relatable out of anyone, and we're supposed to hate him. He only goes full villain at the climax, and it feels out of character and weird. The end reveal is one of the worst I've ever seen, and the only great performance is Sharlto Copley as Chappie. He's always great in these projects, no matter how underwhelming. His lead hero in District 9 was likable and tragic, his villain in Elysium was despicable and vicious, and here, he's vulnerable, funny, and sweet. If one good thing can be said of Blomkamp's filmography, it's that they showcase Copley's range as an actor. Some of the actors were good, but their accents were so thick that even when speaking English they had to be subtitled. The rap duo characters weren't as annoying as I'd heard, but they weren't great, either. The male one is especially unlikable up until the end, and even then I was on the fence. Dev Patel is wasted here. The end song was oddly out of place. Overall, I enjoyed Chappie more than Elysium, but I feel Blomkamp needs to escape these somewhat pretentious sci-fi projects and really advance as a filmmaker. 6/10 stars.



Selma:
This project had a lot of hype, and while the performances are great and the subject matter obviously historically important, I felt this was a kind of boring movie that was obvious Oscar bait. 12 Years a Slave this is not. Sure, there's moments of shocking racism, but nothing about it feels particularly raw, biting, or poignant. It's all just above-average. It feels a little bit like Lee Daniels' The Butler in its' length and lack of attention to detail or character, instead just cramming in as much history as it can. The end song "Glory" by John Legend and Common was excellent and very bold. David Oyelowo fits the bill of MLK Jr. perfectly, and the cast is filled out with great character actors, from Wendell Pierce to Tom Wilkinson to Dylan Baker and Tim Roth and Stephen Root, Michael Papajohn, Ruben Santiago-Hudson, Andre Holland, and Carmen Ejogo. This cast is filled with so much talent, but a lot of it is constricted to bland minor roles so prevalent in these recent biopics. Where's the great biopics of the past, like Malcolm X or Lawrence of Arabia? Is the epic biography film a dead art? It appears so. Selma is entertaining for the most part, though a bit dry, and is ultimately disappointing. 6/10 stars.

                                                      (Images: Wikipedia)

The Martian: Overhyped science fiction film with some nice touches

Today, I take a look at a film that came out almost two months ago but people are still going out in droves to see.

The Martian:
During a mission to Mars, an intense storm hits, separating astronaut and botanist Mark Watney from the rest of his team. Believing him dead, they return to their primary space station to return to Earth. Watney is miraculously alive, however, and must figure out a way to survive on the harsh planet until rescue can arrive for him.
    This movie's hype was pretty amazing considering ti's just a run-of-the-mill sci-fi movie that just happens to have an ensemble cast of famous stars. I haven't read the novel by Andy Weir, though I fully intend to, so I'm judging the film solely on its' own merits. Matt Damon is a very strong lead, with some nice funny dialogue, but never does he feel too tongue-in-cheek, he knew when to play the situation straight and play out the gravity of his situation. The ensemble cast is too big to list here, but I felt they were all fine. A bit typecast (and cast solely on name recognition it seems on the whole), but decent. Major critique though: there was not one supporting role I felt could've not been filled by any other actor and been just as fine. Everyone was just sort of bland, as with most ensembles nowadays. I also found it amusing that they made Tolkien references, when Sean Bean, featured here, was in the Lord of the Rings films. But they aren't the real focus of the film. Damon is the glue that holds the film together, and, of course, the suspense.
     For a science fiction movie that isn't an adventure film this story had some great suspense. Every problem that is solved only serves as a catalyst for the next problem, so the movie never feels boring. Not only that, but there is a surprisingly squirm-inducing self-surgery scene early on that was fairly ballsy for a big movie like this to feature. And for an October release, this has all the polish of a summer blockbuster. It remind me of Interstellar quite a bit.
     Much like that film from last fall, this is a movie that tests your patience. It is almost draining, as so much has happened by the end that you want to feel invested, but ultimately feel like you should just go home and go to sleep. And, much like Interstellar, some of the designs felt a little too reminiscent of other science fiction efforts (including Ridley Scott's own Prometheus).
    Drew Goddard (the writer) also exhausted their two "fuck" limit for a PG-13 film far too early. If you don't known the MPAA generally likes to keep the uses of the word "fuck" in PG-13 films to about one or two tops, excluding inaudible uses and completely excluding uses in the sexual connotation. This film used it up a little too early, and got away with it a few times (mouthing the word, not saying it), but at certain times, (Minor Spoiler Here) the character is typing a message and is using the word "fuck", and other characters' reactions suggest it is uncensored, but then it is censored on-screen. Not only does that take me out of the movie for being lazy, it also completely seems out of character for Watney to self-censor.
    Ridley Scott has produced better work than this, so it is sad to see that this is most successful film of his career. However, The Martian is an enjoyable, if predictable and patience-straining movie that relies a lot of name recognition in its' casting choices. It's about on par with Interstellar for me, in terms of both entertainment factor and overlong run time (and both feature a stranded Matt Damon). 6.5/10 stars.

                                         (Image: Wikipedia)

Fantastic Four: I think this is a great example of how superhero films are hitting another dark period

Today, I look at the latest failed attempt at making an adaptation of Jack Kirby and Stan Lee's classic superhero team. (Sorry this review is almost two months late.)

Fantastic Four (or Fant4stic):
Reed Richards, a young genius who has recently discovered the secret to interdimensional travel, is enlisted as a help on a research project at the Baxter Institute in New York by Dr. Franklin Storm and his children Sue and Johnny, and is also assisted by his childhood best friend Ben Grimm and Sue;s former flame and genius computer scientist Victor Von Doom. When a trip through their portal goes horribly wrong, the five of them end up with strange and horrible superpowers, and the government begins training them to be biological weapons.
    I actually didn't get the hate behind this movie. I thought it was a decent, surprisingly dark and moody superhero film, with the occasionally bad-looking effect. I actually enjoyed it a fair amount -- until the last twenty minutes, when I realized how rushed the finale was, and cliche, and totally uninspired and worthless and dull. And it made me resent the rest of the movie.
   Before I heard the bad news that this film bit the big one, I had no interest in seeing it. After hearing the stories about young director Josh Trank's completely unprofessional behavior on set, and his getting kicked off the new Star Wars spin-off as a result of this film, and hearing about the bastardization of the main villain, I couldn't wait to see this epic bomb.
   But when I saw the film, I didn't mind it for the most part. The main cast (Kate Mara, Jamie Bell, Miles Teller, Michael B. Jordan, Reg E. Cathey, the latter two being Wire alumni) were fine, and although Toby Kebbell was a little over-the-top (and came off like a more serious Gilfoyle from Silicon Valley) he was a decent interpretation of Dr. Doom. Speaking of which, let's get the positive out of the way: from what I heard, the original premise for the film was supposed to be a David Cronenberg-esque body horror film that would show the real ramifications of the type of powers that the Four have. There are still elements of that film in here, especially in the scenes immediately following the cosmic accident and a scene with Dr. Doom at the end blowing up people's heads with telepathy (which I found shockingly violent and awesome).  Certain updates of the story (interdimensional travel instead of space storm. Johnny being black) stayed in the script, others didn't. In the original script, Dr. Doom's name would be changed to Victor Domashev, something a little more realistic to fit he tone of the film. Fanboys didn't like this, and bitched so much the producers made Trank change it back to Von Doom. I wouldn't have minded the change, and felt it would have been appropriate. The Thing's CG work looks good and fells like a good use of digital effects.
    Now for the problems: the climax has no fucking build-up... at all. They build up this plot about the government trying to make the heroes into weapons, and then they just drop that plot, make the heroes reconcile their differences, and introduce a brand new villain in the last fifteen minutes! The new Doom was pretty cool I thought... until he just opens up a blue laser portal for NO reason and is defeated like a bitch in ten minutes. Not to mention the whole second half moves way too fast compared to the pace of the first half, all the character motivations feel like they move too quick and there's no build-up. Say what you will about the Tim Story films, but at least they BUILT to something. In my opinion, this film could have been vastly improved by the plot being stretched an extra forty minutes, building up the team's bonding, and played up the slimy government agent as the villain, eventually reintroducing Doom in the finale and having him take over Latveria as a stinger ending.
   Fantastic Four is a shameless cash-grab, and a poor example of when a director has bold ambitions and a big budget, but not enough experience to handle it. The ending soils a pretty decent superhero film with potential, and if the sequel proves to be anything like this, I see no future for adaptations of this superhero team. It's like the brand-name is cursed. 4/10 stars.



(Image: Wikipedia)