Sunday, January 6, 2013

Top 10 WORST/Most Disappointing films of the year

This is my list of the worst films of the year. The list will go from disappointing and flawed, but not that bad, to the worst. I have listed before films that will not appear on the list as I have not seen them. Also, I do not give plot sypnosises, if you want those, go check out my original reviews or go to IMDb. I will only quickly go through what I disliked about them. Below is also a list of runner-ups. If I see any other movie from this year that affects the list at all, I'll let you guys know.

10. The Amazing Spiderman: Although my original review of this film was bitter and very negative, I've grown on this film, and I believe it's pretty good. But it definitely didn't live up to the hype. Parts of the film are very rushed and I believe some of the characters are one dimensional, and the plot is very thin. The film feels somewhat unbalanced at times, and the villain was somewhat lackluster compared to villains like Green Goblin, Doctor Octopus, and Sandman. But the film is helped by some pretty good performances (although sometimes they go over-the-top), the spectacular special effects, and the pretty well-executed action sequences.

9. The Hunger Games: Now, I actually liked this film when I first saw it, but as time went on, I've seen more and more flaws in it, and what I can say is that this film isn't as good as everyone says it is. There are many scenes that just drag on, many of the characters are just not that complex or interesting, and the action is dull. The main villains are so evil, that the characters lack depth and become one-dimensional. The film is also plagued by way too much shaky-cam, to the point where in half the action scenes, you can just barely put together what's happening. The main actress (Jennifer Lawrence) barely saves the film from a lower rating because she is a very good actress, and puts her all into a performance in even the most dull and boring script. I've also seen the dystopian society plot done so much better in other films(1984, A Clockwork Orange, Brazil, etc.) There's even a short novel by Stephen King (under the pen name Robert Bachman) called The Long Walk, which is somewhat similar to this film in the fact that there's a deadly game held in dystopian societies in which a few selected children must compete until one stands. And it's done better! The film also takes way too many things from the Japanese manga Battle Royale, and i's subsequent film adaptation. That film also had the balls to have hardcore violence as in the manga, keeping it's mature rating. This film censors all the violence from the equally mediocre book to keep a PG-13 rating to make a bigger profit. Plus, in this film there's even an incredibly predictable love triangle problem. The only saving grace is Jennifer Lawrence, the sometimes very good special effects, and the design of the world the film explores.

8. Beasts of the Southern Wild: Now this is a film that I just don't get. It's an offbeat, artsy film, but unlike this year's Seven Psychopaths, it's not fun to watch. There's no amazing dialogue scenes, all the characters are unrelatable, the film is grimy-looking and ugly, and the plot is just strange. It's been given unrelenting praise, and I hope it doesn't get an Oscar nomination. The only saving grace is that the lead child actor is really good. Oh, and the cinematography is astounding. Other than that, it's really not that good of a movie.

7. Here Comes the Boom: This is lazy comedy at it's worst. The jokes aren't that funny, the plot is completely ludicrous, and the characters are just stupid. They make the principal of the school who wants Kevin James fired into an unlikeable jackass, but if you step back and look at it, he's actually making realistic decisions, because James is the obvious jackass. And the fact that he gets Salma Hayek in the end is so cliche and unrealistic it boggles my mind.

6. (Tie) Premium Rush and The Expendables 2: Both are supposed to be throwbacks to the classic, old-fashioned, fun 80's films. The first is a comedic film, and it succeeds at being funny, but sometimes unintentionally, but the villain is so incompetent and over-the-top, it comes off as intentional. It probably was, but the film was marketed as a thrilling, fast-paced action film, but is actually a semi-self-aware comedy-thriller with few real thrills. In fact, the villain's first scene makes him out to be a real threat, and the writers just gave up on him. But the comedy works well, which saves it from being lower on the list. The second is dull, and, once more, promises all the action stars getting cool characters and equal screen time, but they don't. Some of the special effects look like Internet video-quality, and the villain is insanely stupid, and the "newcomer" character is just a throwaway character we don't care about because he's killed off in his fourth scene! Both have some funny moments, and some cool action sequences, but their thin, hole-filled plots and bad acting overpower the positives.

5. Taken 2: This was a forgettable cash-in. I was so excited to Liam Neeson kick ass again. This film promised even more of the brutal, fast-paced, realistic action we saw in the other film. But the film almost tries to sympathize with the villains, even though the entire first film depended on you hating the bad guys, and wanting to Neeson beat the shit out of them and kill them. Liam Neeson barely does anything, and except some cool chases and shoot-outs, there's not much positive here. Oh, and also, throwing grenades off a rooftop.

4. Mirror-Mirror: This was just an awful piece of crap. The characters are bland and boring, the villain is terribly miscast, it tries to be self-referencing, but fails, the comedy is agregious, the romance is stupid, and the fantasy-action scenes, while brief, are still devoid of thrills, and no action scenes should not be thrilling, or the point is lost. The special effects are cheap, and even the great visuals are ruined by the plot and characters. Oh, and the musical number at the end makes you want to shoot yourself.

3. The Possession: The plot is a rip-off of The Exorcist, but it's toothless compared to that film. The horror scenes are unintentionally funny, the characters are idiots, and the ending is stupid. Besides one or two moments, the movie is devoid of scares, it's sad to hear this film was produced by the great Sam Raimi. Also, although Jeffrey Dean Morgan is good as the father, all the other actors are dreadful. Even Kyra Sedgwick. The film also has the gall to have the bullshit claim "Based on a True Story". At least with The Exorcist or The Exorcism of Emily Rose, those claims were true. Maybe it should have said "Based on 2 better horror movies you should rent instead of paying 20 bucks to see this rotting piece of shit." Fuck this movie.

2. Paranormal Activity 4: Not only does this film tread the same ground as the last movie, it does it poorly. The film also takes all the aspects I loved from the horror film Sinister, and flips it on it's head. The plot is thin, the characters stupid, the product placement blatant, and the advertisement ("It's all been leading to this.") completely false. The entire film consists of cheap jump-scares, which aren't creepy in the slightest. The fact that the characters have to carry around their laptops everywhere (they only shoot footage on webcams) makes the premise even more laughable and unrealistic. I hoped this is the last of these films, but it made enough money to constitute a sequel coming out later this year. Hopefully Insidious Chapter 2 is more successful than that film.

(Drum roll)

1. The Apparition: It was tough to decide which was worse. This was worse because where PA4 had a thin plot, this has no plot. The film feels like it's half-an-hour long, and the monster isn't really that threatening. It's a stupid concept, and the fact that there's absoulutely no way to stop it is stupid. And the ending doesn't make any sense and the whole film is like a big "fuck you" to the audience. The only creepy scene is at the very, very beginning, before the main "plot" starts, everything after is predictable and stupid. There's even times when it tries to be like Paranormal Activity. I hate this film, and I only just saw this film in the past week. I feel bad for anyone who paid to see this in theaters. It doesn't feel like a movie, like a failed pilot for a bad TV series. Or better yet, the ABC Family TV movie version of horror. This movie is so fucking awful it makes me extremely angry. I just want to go to every copy and just burn it. Anyone who sees this film is waisting their time and money. Oh, and it shouldn't even constitute a theatrical release because it's not even 90 minutes long, even with the credits! Also, they don't respect the main characters: Sebastian Stan (Captain America) and Ashley Greene (Twilight). No, I do find the actress attractive, but they basically pander to the male demographic with her to get them to see the movie. It's shameless at best. If I wanted to look at stuff like that, I have the Internet. I hate this movie so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Runner-ups: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Safe House, The Raven, Underworld: Awakening, The Woman in Black.


 (Images: Google Images)

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